I have a confession to make. I do not, (cannot?, will not? am unable to?) close cupboard doors. Drawers too. It drives my husband crazy. Whenever it’s brought to my attention, I try to reform myself. I set myself a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Sensitive) worded something like

Close the damn cupboards after I open them!

Sadly, to no avail. After two days (that’s my personal best) of obsessively closing cupboard doors even before I open them, sometimes foregoing what I needed inside of them to avoid the necessity of having to remember to close them again, I will walk into the kitchen and with a start that makes my stomach drop into my shoes, realize that every single cupboard door and drawer in the kitchen is open. Sometimes even the refrigerator door.

I wish I had a poltergeist I could blame it on. Hey, now that’s not a bad idea. Maybe I’ll pile the dining room chairs on top of the table one of these days to throw my husband off the scent of my absentmindedness.

Why can’t I just choose to be a cupboard door closer? Why am I seemingly hard-wired to be cupboard door leaver opener? I suspect that it’s a personality flaw that I can’t escape.

To digress for a moment. (This will come back to the point at hand, your honour, but I like scenic routes). One of the hardest things about voice training is when the voice type you have is not the voice type you want. For instance, the choir boy tenor, who becomes a bass-baritone when his voice changes, may go through actual psychological turmoil. I know I was disappointed upon discovering that I was a mezzo-soprano and not the most desired of all female voices–a soprano. We have indoctrinated in us the idea that “you can be anything you want to be.” and when reality rubs up against that, it can be a hard thing to reconcile.

But then again, neuroplasticity teaches us that a great many things ARE changeable — granted with long periods of focused effort — but definitely changeable.

Why does everything come back to the Serenity Prayer?

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Can I change my cupboard door leaver opener tendencies or overcome them? Hard-wired or plastic? Nature or nuture? What do you think? Am I destined to be flawed in this regard or can I overcome?

And which one are you–a CDC or a CDLO?