The Zappass

So, my car has taken to giving me a quite large, very painful static electric shock EVERY SINGLE TIME I exit. “Oh, you’d like to get OUT? ZAAAPPP!” It’s no longer a Passat it’s a Zappass.

What did I do to deserve this kind of punishment? I took it in for a $500 repair job just two weeks ago. Its fluids are replenished. I even emptied out most of the garbage that had collected in the back seat. And this is the thanks I get.

Yet, more evidence there has been a coup d’etat conducted by our technology and we just never noticed. You can’t tell me that Stephen Harper isn’t in automaton. It explains everything including why WordPress insists on changing 8 + close bracket to 8) .

Thank God I don’t have a GPS. Or an immobilizer! If this is what it does on it’s own fuel (funded by me of course) I can’t imagine what chicanery it would get up to if I would send reinforcements in the guise of other technology.

But what if I park beside a bait car? Will they talk? Will they compare notes? Will I be in for untold misery?

We must plan a counter-revolution. Someone get Neo on a secure line.

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About Tentative Equinox North

Theatremaker, Homemaker, Thoughtmaker. Great hair, Probably looking forward to my next nap.
This entry was posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Big Bang, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory, Sun and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Zappass

  1. Colleen says:

    Hmmm….that’s weird. Our car does that to me as well. Every single time. But not the van. It doesn’t have the energy.

    Do you make street lights turn off when you walk under them? Do your house lights burn out in a blaze of glory when you turn on a light? I’ve always thought the car zapping thing and assorted electrical issues was the byproduct of being a pisces.

    I’m in trouble, because if you have to call in Neo to save us, I’ll have no idea what’s going on. Except that I know we’ll have no means of washing our clothes.

  2. Tentative Equinox North says:

    So, you mean (as Emma put it very succinctly) water beats electricity? Could be. Could be. I never thought of that. Perhaps a towel would be the answer to my problem then. Douglas Adams had it right all along.

    Oh, and what need do we have of clean clothes in a revolution? I just hope when I’m released from my vat that I find I’ve been in Strawberry Jello and none of the Lime Crap with cabbage in it.

  3. Colleen says:

    I’m not saying a person needs clean clothes in a revolution, just making the observation that with alllllllll that technology in the Matrix, no one had the means to wash the one frayed sweater that they owned.

    I’m just saying.

  4. Tentative Equinox North says:

    The washing machines were made political prisoners in the alien takeover. They agitated too much.

  5. Paul says:

    Be careful when getting fuel. Static shocks have been responsible for cars blowing up at gas stations. So make sure you get the static shock done with before fuelling. And don’t go back in your car while fuelling is going on. That’s how it happens. Person begins to fuel, and goes back in the car for their purse or something then goes back to remove the pump. And then the static shock is enough to catch the fumes.

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