Do you ever have days where you feel like a bumblebee caught on one side of glass, banging yourself continuously in an effort to get through this invisible force field, when there’s a crack in the window just a foot to the side that would let you through if you could just find it?
(Whew! That was a long metaphor, thanks for sticking with me through that.)
I’ve been feeling like that poor old bumblebee lately. Okay, maybe since 1988. I’m still counting that as lately.
I think I might need some kindly soul to take a rolled up newspaper and force me over to the crack in the window.
Because apparently, I ain’t going willingly.
Tentative Equinox North
Tentative Equinox 
And exactly what IS that crack? ‘Cause if the crack in MY window is anything to go by, it’s about 16 years of crawling and bashing my head against the window before I reach it.
But that’s MY crack. In the window.
Where is yours?
I wish I knew. That is why I need the friendly hand with the rolled up newspaper. I can feel the fresh air, I just can’t get to it. The friendly part is important though, lest I end up a little squish on the window of life.
My ballet teacher has this sign right next to the door it said this:
The definition of insanity:
The doing of the same stupid thing, over and over again.
—
she meant as in if your doing the wrong dance move, try to fix it, and don’t keep doing it again.
Anyway I can relate to you there, even though I am not as experienced enough in life as you are… I am pretty stubborn, and I really want to do things my way. If some one offers an easier way… I become stupid and don’t accept the offer and keep making life harder for me.
I learned that same thing in acting. When the director keeps giving you notes on a certain scene, maybe she means try something different. It’s just a hard lesson to learn I guess.
Strange…
It’s almost as if you’ve been feeling like that bumblebee for the exact many years I’ve been alive… Strange indeed…
Hmmm. I never realized that connection before. You closed the window didn’t you? Just admit it.