Today I Love…

My inadvertent collection of orange sweaters…

Orange Sweater Happiness

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Today I Love…

These slippers…


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Protected: Script of ROVE, private (sorry)

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Meet the cast and creative team of ROVE: The Legend of Rusty Point

Alexis Kellum-Creer–Common Domestic Goose, Border Guard, Jaguar Woman 2D and 3D

Alexis is delighted to be honking her way through Tentative Equinox’s inaugural production! She was last seen in the United Players’ production of “Waste”, also appearing in “The  Circle” (UP), “Speed-the-Plow” (Terminal Productions), “Enchanted April” (Metro Theatre), and award-winning plays “Seasons” (Half-Stratford Players), “Dylan” (Presentation House), and “Proof” (Surrey Little Theatre).  Television appearances include guest spots on Stargate: Atlantis and The L Word. Warm appreciation and gratitude to Andrew, Christina, Tara, and the phenomenal cast of this terrific show, each of whom contains multitudes.

Anäis West–Oracle/Fate, Hazel

Anais is thrilled to be “roving” about in a site-specific Fringe show! Previous acting credits include “Jean” in August: Osage County (Arts Club), “Jackie” in Adult Content (Enemies of the Stage), Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd (Kits Studio) and “Katherine” in The Taming of The Shrew (Carousel’s TSP). Sound design credits include Carousel’s recent production of Julius Caesar. She has also dabbled in playwrighting, participating for two years in the Arts Club’s LEAP Playwriting Intensive. Upcoming shows include Undead Double Feature for Enemies of the Stage. Anais will be attending theatre school at Studio 58 in January.

Andrew David Long–Director

Andrew David Long is an actor, writer, and director, who also moonlights as an arts administrator (currently with the Richmond Arts Centre) and film programmer.  After a 5 year stint working at the Canadian Film Centre and a contract on the Olympics, Andrew sought a return to theatre and found one via the inaugural Arts Club Actors Intensive.  While he is excited to help bring ROVE to fruition, he is still wondering how he wandered into the Granville Island Market for pasta and emerged with a 17-actor Fringe show.

Andy Yu–Whale King/Fisherman, Newlywed, Guardian

A 23-year-old (will be 24 after the Sept 12th show!) western-culture-assimilated Asian male capable of portraying western and eastern characteristics.  Deeply fascinated by the very familiar yet ecstatically intriguing realm of performing arts, Andy has recently trod into the industry of film as well within our scenically endowed city of Vancouver. Highlight roles of his life (so far): catatonic child struggling with abusive memories & animalistic alien purely driven by its insatiable sadistic rabid nature. Hobbies: heartlessly toying with his own emotions. Principles in Life: “I’m spreading the joy… whether they like it or not…”, ”Meh…sure why not.”

Michael Cheng–Whale King/Fisherman, Newlywed, Guardian (Sept. 11 only)

Michael Cheng found his passion in acting since he was 15 years old.  It has shaped his awareness of human interaction and how people perceive him through subtle body language and non-verbal cues.  Dedicated in whatever he puts his mind to and rising to the challenge, Michael appreciates the journey.  Commitment is the by-product of his burning passion.  After acquiring the discipline  to persevere, he decided to transition into Film and TV. Always being proactive in his everyday choices has fuelled his passion and drive to succeed. Finding his niche outlet along with running, acting has unlocked his hidden potential.

Brian Knox McGugan–Ron

Brian Knox McGugan apprenticed at the Citadel theatre in Edmonton, and in 1987 graduated from the U of A BFA (acting) program. He continues his exploration in theatre, music and film, also appearing with the musical duo, “A Gay and a Girl”. He starred in and directed the short film Motifs and Repetitions, and recently worked with Seven Tyrants in  A Good Woman of Setzuan, by Bertolt Brecht.. Performance with a deeper sense of purpose and community resonates strongly, and he is very excited to be  a part of Rove. For more about Brian, please visit:

Carly Fawcett–Wild Canada Goose

Born in Vancouver and raised in Kelowna, Carly moved back to the coast two years ago to pursue her dreams of becoming a performer. Acting, however, was not on the list, until she landed in Michele Lonesdale Smith’s scene study class in the fall of 2010. Having not acted since she was a kid, she realized what her true passion was, and fell in love with it. Since then she has studied with Nathalie Therriault, Ben Ratner and June B. Wilde. This is her first role in a production since childhood.

Christina Wells Campbell–Eva, Writer

What a wild ride this has been. Who knew back in February, when this opportunity first presented itself, I would find myself 7 months later surrounded by 16.5 other actors and 3 collaborators, doing spool knitting and reviewing the various ways that geese communicate, while loading my car (otherwise known as the prop-mobile) with props like a giant afghan, cowboy boots and a crown. In recent memory I directed a Jersey Shore spin on The Gondoliers for the Fraser Valley Gilbert and Sullivan Society. I played the Fairy Queen in Iolanthe and Mad Margaret in Ruddigore. I also played Malcom in MacBeth and the Evil Dr. Sedgewick in It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman. I am a 2-time survivor of the Arts Club Actor’s Intensive and feel it is now necessary to warn all future scene partners (hello Andrew David Long and Corey Payette) that being my scene partner may open up a whole other can of worms for you.

Colleen Costello–Oracle/Fate, Rusty Point Rover, Newlywed

Colleen Costello has been involved in music her entire life (starting with church choir), playing and recording original music for the public since 1996, and touring Canada with bands since 1999.  In 1997, Colleen was introduced to interactive puppet theatre working with Crispy Salamander Theatre Co. in Victoria.  In 2003 she branched out into adapting music for the theatre environment, notably sound design for Castlemoon Theatre (2003-2009), and percussion for teen theatre camp via Carousel Players in Ontario.  Promoting a CD led to designing music for the soundtrack Falling for Caroline (2009) an award winning short film by Christine Chew.  Theatre, music, painting, dance…. performing is an expression of experience and she does not discriminate by media.

Corey Payette–Choral Music Composer

THEATRE: Upcoming La Cage Aux Folles (Playhouse), Beyond Eden (Playhouse/Theatre Calgary), Glorious! (Theatre by the Bay), Canadian Premiere of Jerry Springer – The Opera, dir. Richard Ouzounian (Hart House Theatre) FILM/TELEVISION: Make me Stronger (Official Selection for the SlamDance Film Festival), The Great Fear. OF INTEREST: Corey is a graduate of York University in Toronto and has performed at the National Arts Centre, The Canadian Senate for Parliament, and on CBC Television. Corey was the resident Musical Director for the Upper Canada Repertory Company since 2007-2009, has released a solo CD “Broken Vow“(Indigo Records), and is currently writing his second original musical to be workshopped at the Playhouse in October

Corina Akeson–Mutha Goose, Crazy Homeless Woman

Corina speculates she was a cat in a former life, explaining why so much of her performance life is spent depicting various feline desired delicacies.  Favourite Karmic penances & other projects include: Hamlet (Project X), A Moon for the Misbegotten (United Players, JAC), Laundry & Bourbon (Squire John’s Playhouse – Equity Co-op), Silverwing (Carousel Theatre), Chickens (Pacific Theatre), The Mousetrap (Arts Club Theatre Company) & Cabaret (Studio 58). Corina is also the performer of all the voices on the Fun with Composers Classical Music Education CD’s, a Carpenter and Mom to baby Avery – to whom she says, “A Cow says Moo, but Mommy says: Honk-honk, Cluck-cluck, Hoo-hoo, Screetch… & sometimes, if she’s very lucky, Baa-baa-Woof-Woof.” Special thanks to Jeff for making this foray possible.

Diana (Dice) Squires–Tour Guide, Rusty Point Rover, Choir Tamer

Recent acting credits:  Macbeth (The Shakespeare Centre), Godspell (Pacific Theatre), The Laundromat (Scarlet Satin), Burn This (Beaumont Stage), Under the Hawthorn Tree and The Museum Project (Havana Theatre).  Also a director, producer, playwright, and shameless workaholic, Dice is Artistic Director of Scarlet Satin Productions, having most recently produced the site-specific summer sensation Party This Weekend. When not creating theatre herself Dice works professionally in arts marketing and communications, including the role of Publicist for SAMC Theatre at her alma mater, Trinity Western University.

Janet Gigliotti–Eva’s Mom, Rusty Point Rover, Cardio boot camp participant

How lucky to be a part of this wonderful festival working on beautiful Granville Island!
Select credits: Adelaide-Guys & Dolls (Chemainus), A Year With Frog & Toad (Carousel theatre, Jessie award), Les Misérables (Arts Club), Seussical (WCT), Mamma Mia! (Mirvish), My Way (Globe), Ado Annie-Oklahoma (Port Hope), The Rainmaker (Stage Centre), Ten Lost Years (Alumnae Theatre), Nellie-South Pacific, Rosie-Bye Bye Birdie (TUTS), The Witch-Into The Woods, Godspell (URP).  Upcoming: Glinda in Wizard of Oz for Carousel Theatre.

Janet Glassford–Mob, Customs

Recently: ‘Nunsense‘ (Fighting Chance Produdctions)  ‘Little Me‘,  (Applause Musicals)  Favourites?  ‘Larger than Life‘ (Vancouver Fringe 2009), ‘The Rocky Horror Show‘ (DSR/Arts Club Theatre), touring kids theatre with Hooked on Books & Mortal Coil – Ghost Train in Stanley Park.  Singing at Birdland in NYC, the Voice of / Barkerville, BC.  Film/TV: pilot of ‘House‘, ‘Untold Stories of the ER‘, ‘This Means War‘, ‘The Killing‘, oh, & a very interesting day standing up to my waist, blindfolded in Whyte Cliff Park for a commercial.  I’m grateful to work with long time friends, enjoy your journey.

Jenn Haffner–Mob, Liz, Cardio boot camp participant,

Jenn is grateful to have been invited to join this lovely group of rovers. This has been a wonderful experience roaming the island with them in the daytime, in the nighttime, through goose poop and all. Thanks everyone!

Marcela Caceres–Oracle/Fate, Lea, Mother, Guardian

Marcela Caceres is thrilled to be doing another outdoor roving show. The last time she got to lead an audience through a fantastical world was in the SFU gardens on Burnaby Mountain in her production
of “The Ferine Garden” (2009). Recently graduated with her BFA in Theatre Performance, it has been a pleasure bringing her musical and physical training to this project. Favourite credits include “Mixie and the Halfbreeds” (Neworld Theatre, 2009), “Machinal” (SFU, 2010), and “Mobilis in Mobili” (rice&beans theatre, 2011). She looks forward to enjoying her days on Granville Island with new eyes after “ROVE” must come to a close.

Rebecca Walters–Fäel

Rebecca has recently returned from Washington DC, where she got her MFA from the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Academy for Classical Acting at the George Washington University. Recent favourite roles include The Bawd in “Pericles”, Maquarelle in “The Malcontent” and Marie in “My Comic Valentine, Vol 2”. She is excited to be back at the Fringe, and to be working with such a fun and committed group of theatre creators!

Tara Fynn–Writer

Troy Anthony Young–Rusty Point Rover, Bill, Cardio Boot Camp Coach, Customs

Troy is a graduate of the University of Alberta’s BFA Acting program, as well as RDC’s Theatre Studies
Program.  Theatre credits include Comfort (Rogue Insomniacs) Spokesong (Theatre Prospero), Faustmachine (Walking Fish Festival), King John (7 Tyrants), The Verona Project (Stone’s
Throw / Pacific Theatre), Supermarket Scuffle (Binky Productions), Moon for the Misbegotten (United Players) and Coriolanus (Coriolanus Co-op). Film and television credits include Deranged, Helix, 668 and Supernatural.  He is also the Founder and Artistic Producer of the Rogue Insomniacs Theatre Collective.

Veronique West–Hazel

Veronique is delighted to be taking part in a wild and unique show like Rove at the 2011 Vancouver Fringe.  Some of her recent theatre credits include The Taming of the Shrew and Macbeth with Carousel Theatre’s Teen Shakespeare Program.  She also recently completed the Arts Club’s LEAP Playwrighting Intensive for Teens, and is currently an Arts undergraduate student at UBC, planning to major in creative writing. She would like to thank Andrew and the cast for their support and insight, and for making her journey into the underworld a truly inspiring one.

Zachary Protz–Miss Information, Fortune Hunter, Guardian

Zachy was born in September 1994 and enjoys acting, reading, watching movies and making up stories. Zach took acting at the Gateway Theatre in his youthier youth, but it wasn’t until doing a Shakespeare workshop with Mike Stack in his slightly less youthy youth that his love of acting began to flourish. He returned to Gateway Theatre where he has learned and performed for the past four years under the tutelage of Joshua Reynolds, Natasha Nadir, Jack Patterson, Sasa Brown, Ruth Brown, Ruth McIntosh, Beverly Sauve, and Eileen Barrett. This is Zach’s first time performing for an audience not consisting of his friend’s parents and he looks forward to it greatly.

For more information about ROVE: The Legend of Rusty Point, please click HERE.

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Dual Tracked Life

I’m a little bit shocked that the last time I wrote here was my birthday–almost 6 months ago. Wow. So much has happened since then. I guess I should do a mini-catch-up.

In chronological order:

I directed the Fraser Valley Gilbert and Sullivan’s production of The Gondoliers. It was great fun, a great cast, great voices. I took a Jersey Shore spin on it which entertained me to no end. It’s been a while since I directed and I’m glad to be bringing that skill back to the forefront.

I took the Actor’s Intensive at the Arts Club again (2nd year! — Woot!). A lovely group of people. Much intensity. I loved it just as much this year as last.

I’ve been working on a site specific theatre piece since April. It’s the inaugural year of a partnership between the Only Animal Theatre Company and the Vancouver Fringe Festival to mentor a bunch of artists in the development of site specific theatre. Tentative Equinox has been one of those companies. You can find out all about our piece called ROVE: The Legend of Rusty Point by clicking the tab at the top, or simply clicking here.

My Dad died. Exactly 9 months to the day after my Mom died, my Dad passed away from metastasized cancer of the kidney collection ducts–a cancer so rare that the urological oncologist had seen only one other case in her career. All the other doctors had seen none. At the end of the school year in June he was fine. In mid-July one eye stopped tracking. He was admitted to hospital towards the end of July due to acute leg pain and blood clotting problems. He died just before school went back in. I have much more to say and process and mourn about this dual loss, but that will come in time.

It’s interesting to me (although ‘interesting‘ is a wholly inadequate word) that ROVE has a dual track storyline where you, as the audience, can follow either the sister of light or the sister of shadow and my life feels very much like that right now–dual tracked. Tomorrow, my father’s funeral is at 11am, and ROVE opens at 7:15pm. Shadow and Light.

Instead of a tentative equinox, I’m having an intense equinox. More of a collision of light and dark rather than a balance.

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Birthday Wishes in Haiku

Today is my birthday.

A perfect day for a fresh start. I have so much that I’ve been thinking about. So much that I’m involved in. It’s exciting. And I want to let you know all about it. But for now, let’s just take a breath and begin.

A new year. Spring is at least a little in the air. The fields are beginning to unfallow (defallow?). The Vernal Equinox is nigh.

I have wishes, intentions, hopes for this new year, and I’m dying to share them with you, but they feel like like blowing out the candles on my cake–these wishes are to be kept secret. A conspiracy betweeen all the inner mes.

Suffice to say for our purposes that they involve doorways and the going through of them. Crossing thresholds. Closing the doors behind me. And that means a letting go too. A letting go of identity.

This is what I mean as just one example. For me, one of the hardest parts of changing how I eat has been how I identify the Eating Christina. It’s not letting go of the actual coffee with cream, it’s letting go of the me that says “I am a coffee drinker.”

There will be more of that this year as I cross through these doorways.

So, celebrate with me! On birthdays past I know I’ve had a tradition of limericks. (Feel free to go review them here). But this year, I feel I need the elegance of the haiku.

Hinges scream loudly
The old door protests op’ning
Cross through anyway

I would love it if you would leave me a haiku on the theme of doorways and thresholds in the comments.

And hey, haikus don’t have to be serious. Here’s one that Shane Koyczan, the spoken word poet told at his concert. (He didn’t write it, but I can’t remember who he said had–it was created at some kind of Extreme Haiku competition — how awesome is that, that haikus have joined the ranks of extreme sports. I so want the blooper reel from that.)

discovers tampon. Wonders
what period it’s from.
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Because Nobody Needs Poofy Hair

Prompted by a query from Rachel at my blog post bemoaning the fact that SunSilk Anti-Poof Hair Creme was no longer available, I’ve decided to update you on my research on alternatives to this magical elixir of the anti-poof.

First of all, I did resort to Amazon and bought 12 bottles of the Sunsilk anti-poof Hairapy stuff. But if you live outside of the US, like me, you have a further complication, because whoever distributes it won’t deliver it outside the US. Fortunately, I had a friend in the US who could receive it and then deliver it up to me. I know. I know. It’s just hair creme. But COME ON!! I have signature hair and live in damp climate. I need all the help I can get. Don’t judge me.

Second of all, and with no clinical proof whatsoever, I believe the magic ingredients in the anti-poof formula are jojoba oil and glycerin. This is my conclusion after reading many labels with 6 point fonts (ooh the eye strain!) on the back of many an anti-frizz product. They seem to contain about 95%  of the same ingredients–but jojoba oil and glycerin are not found in most concoctions. You can get glycerin at most drug stores and even some grocery stores. The jojoba oil you can usually find at aromatherapy stores or any store (I found some at PriceSmart) that sells some essential oils.

So, I did buy some glycerin and jojoba oil. It’s tricky though because you really don’t need very much, so I ended up more often than not looking decidedly un-poofy but also a little greasy. My next move would be to go to the dollar store and buy some cheap conditioner as the carrying agent and add some jojoba oil and glycerin into it until I came up with the magic formula (which I would then no doubt have to patent, manufacture and distribute to make my millions). I have yet to try that though.

So, other products I have found that are okay:

1) BioSilk. Some essence of silk seems to be the magic ingredient here. You can read all the ingredients here. I actually now use this in conjunction with the anti-poof creme. It’s a great shine adder and really smooths hair. If you straighten your hair it’s the perfect creme to add before and after you straighten,

2) Marc Anthony Strictly Curls. This has glycerin but no jojoba oil. It’s pretty good, but I find it also a little drying.

3) Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream. Also with the glycerin (vegetable glycerin in this case) but no jojoba oil. It’s also pretty good and gives my hair very soft to the touch curls. It’s very easy to use too much of this product though. Use sparingly.

Maybe I should just add some jojoba oil to these products to see if that would take them to the next level of good. Good grief. Why haven’t I thought of that up to now?

At any rate. I hope someone can benefit from my year of experimenting. Let me know how it goes for you. We sisters of the poofy hair must stick together!

By the way, don’t get your advice from strangers on the internet. Your hair may vary from mine.

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Dear 2011,

I’ve been waiting for you.

Wait, I’m being a little creepy aren’t I? I mean we just met and all and here I am heaping all these expectations on you–hoping, dreaming, believing, YEARNING for you to be THE ONE. You know. THE YEAR. The year of the big success. Maybe big successes. The year where everything changed for the better.

I know that’s a lot of expectation. I’m sorry.

I know I need to slow down, get to know you a little better. Maybe have a conversation and see if we have anything to talk about before I go all John Cusack a la Say Anything on you.

Especially because I know I’m on the rebound here. 2010 and I had what could only be called a stormy relationship and a really, really, REALLY bad breakup (and truly, that’s putting it mildly).  A year of high highs and low lows.

Maybe that’s what I want from our relationship. A little lot less drama (at least of the real life kind. More of the theatre kind would actually be awesome). A little more steady momentum. Less chaos. More clarity.

It’s not that I want nothing from our relationship–to treat you like an old comfy chair that doesn’t require anything of me but for me to sit down and vegetate. I’m also not negating the value of some good fallow time. What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to put some effort into our relationship. I’m not just going to expect you to be everything and do everything. I’m not going to let myself be entirely buffeted around by the things (good and/or bad) that you’re bringing to the table. But I will bring some stuff of my own to the table. I promise to be clear about what I want, or if I’m not, at least seek clarity. I promise to focus my attention on bringing those qualities into my life and our relationship. And as cheesy as it sounds I want to bring more ME into the world and our relationship. Step into whatever this thing is that keeps calling my name.

So, there it is. All out there, however vague it seems at this point. Strange to seem so vague when I’m wanting clarity, but such is the paradox of life no?

I hope you’re open to all of this.  You seem like the kind of year that would be. I hope I’m not misreading you entirely. Otherwise, I guess I’ll get my Boombox and Peter Gabriel CD at the ready. Seeing as this is Vancouver I can at least predict a heavy rainstorm within any given week.

With love and what? anticipation? ridiculously high hopes?

How about…

I’m looking foward to getting to know you better.

With much love and laughter,


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Farewell Mom

Yesterday, after a two and a half year battle with metastatic breast cancer, my Mom passed away peacefully at home surrounded by her family.

I expect she’s already striking up a committee, seeing what needs to be done, getting herself involved. After all, we can’t expect Heaven to run itself.  

I will miss her terribly. It will take some getting used to having a different form of communication.

In her honour, a re-post of some of the lessons she taught me.

This is my Mom and me in the ‘Peg circa 1968.

Mom, me and the Muppet Coat

Did someone skin a Cookie Monster to get the pelt for that coat? I’m a muppetized moppet. I love that you can’t see my hands. Wasn’t I just adorable?

More to the point thought, look how beautiful my Mom is. Like a red-haired Jackie-O.

True story. I was showing my boyfriend (circa 1986) some family photos. Someone had snapped a shot of one of my siblings sitting on the floor opening a present. Behind the child were a pair of legs.

Nice gams! says soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend (Look! Hyper-hyphenation)

That’s my mom!

(awkward pause) Oh. Well. Still. Nice gams.

Mom didn’t see fit to award her first-born those nice gams. Damn the vagaries of the genetic lottery. At least I’m not bitter about it at all.

But stop, this isn’t about me, this is about my Mom. Wife of 1. Mother of 8. Sister to 2. Grandmother of 8. Librarian, business-owner, president of many a committee, leader, politician, suburban pioneer, knitter, taker-up of causes.

My mom.

Some of the things my Mom taught me, although some of them I still haven’t quite mastered. Frankly, I blame the student, not the teacher:

  • A house full of life is more important than a clean one
  • Act on your ideas
  • Be articulate
  • Have people over
  • Think for yourself
  • Substance is more important than flash
  • Good wine and good conversation in combination is one of the best pleasures in life
  • Make friends with people who don’t have any
  • Don’t waste brain space by remembering the plots of television shows and movies
  • Find the special deals
  • Own lots of books
  • Endurance is more important than speed
  • Introduce yourself
  • The Salvation Army and the clearance rack are awesome
  • Get involved
  • Notice the world around you: the flowers coming in bloom, the houses being built, the arrival of the swallows
  • Be kind
  • Dress well and never be seen outside your house without lipstick.
  • Be classy.
  • Why buy it if you can make it.
  • Stand up for what you believe to be right even if it means being the only one standing in a crowd. And even if that crowd is your crowd.
  • You don’t have to go with the flow
  • Read
  • Make stuff
  • Tell the people you love that you love them

And so, I know you know, Mom, but I love you.

Thanks for all this and all the other things that you just can’t put in a list. I’m incredibly blessed to have you for my mom.

Posted in celestial beings, Dark side of the Moon, Eclipse | 7 Comments

Taking the Measure

It’s taken me a year, but I’ve lost 17.6 pounds.

I still have a ways to go. But I thought it might be time to take stock because the weight itself doesn’t take the full measure of the change in me:

  • I am off caffeine.
  • I am 95% off sugar. The sugars I do have are honey, organic sugar cane, agave nectar and sucanut. They don’t seem to affect me the same way that white sugar does. Of course, I may have to take a closer look at the organic sugar cane. But I’ll get there.
  • I no longer drink Diet Coke. What never? Well… Hardly ever.
  • I drink my swiss water decaffeinated, fairly traded, shade-grown, non-GMO coffee with coconut milk.
  • I drink Green Smoothies on a fairly regular basis. Yes, I put leafy greens in a blender and then drink it.
  • I take all my supplements almost without fail instead of a half week at a time, and then abandonment for two months.
  • My brain is working better. Less brain fog.
  • My constant headaches are gone.
  • I have more energy.
  • I put on a pair of rather unforgiving non-stretch denim shorts that had been lost in the back of my closet and not only do they fit, but the waist is loose. Denim Victory Dance. The sweetest kind.
  • My cardio fitness is improved. My pulse rate comes down quicker than it did before.
  • I can jog for 2 miles or half an hour. I can do 2 miles in 28 minutes, 20 seconds. Not exactly world record material, but relative to me, a big accomplishment.

Things that do not work for me:

  • Weight loss programs. Not Jenny Craig, not Weight Watchers, not U Factor. I know they work for some people but they do not work for me. I’m not saying these programs are bad. They’re not. They just don’t work for me. Because for me it’s not the knowledge of how to eat, it’s my own resistance to staying in the process that trips me up. And these programs are designed to work through resistance in a very non-specific to me way. What can I say? People vary.
  • Goals. I know this is counter-intuitive but goals like losing 10 pounds for the high school reunion, or the Christmas party, or to get into that outfit that’s too small for me. Does not work for me. When someone hands me that sheet that says SMART goals at the top, I break out into a sweat. The only way they’re good for for me is getting me into my cardio zone. I don’t think SMART goals work for right brain people. Someone should do a study.
  • Focusing only on the mechanics — what and how much I’m eating, how much and how hard I’m working out.  It works for me for a while, but not long enough.

Things that do work for me:

  • A naturopath with a truly holistic approach and a specialty in weight loss. I really love my new naturopath. Not only is he knowledgeable (like any doctor should be), but he’s got this endearing combination of qualities–curiousity, acceptance, gentleness, kindness, and compassion that is exactly what I need. And sometimes he’s all about the mechanics and sometimes he’s all about the woo-woo which brings me to my next point.
  • Balancing the work in the hard with the work in the soft. And what I mean by that is in the hard is the practical stuff like making sure there are fresh vegetables in the refrigerator. The soft is the stuff that on the face of it shouldn’t matter but really does like I put on weight when I’m stressed, not necessarily because of eating (although that can play into it) but because my body’s stress reaction is to put on weight. So, I need to find ways to metabolize stress instead of hanging on to it.
  • Dealing with the mental piece, particularly delving into the reasons behind my resistance to acting in my own best interests. Again, the naturopath has been a huge part in sorting out that piece of this puzzle.
  • I will say that the only pre-packaged method that’s worked me has been The Coach Approach at my gym. It really helped transform my exercise into a habit/lifestyle thing, particularly getting on FitLinxx. I am very proud to report that I am in the 99 percentile for women in my age bracket at my gym. Meaning that I am usually in the top 10 or 20 people in terms of my fit points earned–in June in fact, I was number 2! That is a good feeling. FitLinxx reports to me that since I joined in September 2008, I have logged 12,156 minutes of cardio, lifted 618,456 pounds and burned 71,659 calories.
  • My Accountability Coach at Dream Garden Coaching who was able to tell that the real goal wasn’t weight loss but returning to my artist. She too, has been instrumental in keeping me in the process.
  • Taking up tap dancing. Moving in a way I like is important.
  • The phrase “Living in Alignment” has helped a lot. Eating and moving in a way that my body likes instead of filling it with poison and stagnation and then blaming my body for feeling bad. Give my body what it wants. ( But don’t let addiction do the talking.  
  • Where SMART Goals don’t work for me, visualizations do. Creating that mental picture that captures why I’ m doing this and then holding on to that picture creates forward movement for me.

Things that I want to give more focus in the next year

  • CONSCIOUSNESS. This is huge. Do you know how attractive unconsciousness can be sometimes? Check-out. Go on automatic pilot. Don’t have to work so hard at something. Rest. Relax. So, yes, bringing awareness into the process is important. 
  • Interaction with the resistance. Why do I want that fudge now? What is it I’m really needing? Because food can sometimes be a shadow comfort for me. The thing I go to when I’m avoiding the pursuit of my real dreams because they’re currently terrifying me.
  • Making peace with vegetables. We may need a peace summit at Camp David. But I want them to return to just being vegetables and not a barometer of my worth as a person and a mother.
  • Feeding my artist on a daily basis.
  • I want to get to being able to jog a 12-minute mile and be able to jog for an hour or more at a time.
  • I am still wrestling with reflux and the resulting sore throats, so I need to bring more attention to that. Don’t worry, I’m seeing real doctors, but I’m trying to see if there’s any way to fix this without being on a 40 mg dose of Nexxum daily.
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