Summertime — the time for therapy

Posted on June 16, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North
Today is the Discussion of Trinity of Brain Issues (Learning Disabilities, ADHD, and Aspergers) and the Treatment Thereof Tuesday (DTBITTT) or in short form Tuesday BITs.

Erika dropped in a while back to ask for a little more guidance about Fast ForWord. You should check out her dilemmas and my response here. Feel free to add your thoughts.

But I realized upon writing it that part of my reply needed to be upgraded to full post. Because as I can see by my Search Engine Terms, lots of people are looking for information on Fast ForWord right now, mostly because (I think) the summer vacation is a good time to do a programme that takes significant time and energy to make significant gains. And you searchers are absolutely right. Summer vacation is a GREAT time to do Fast ForWord–less pressure, more time. But I also wanted to do a quick overview of some other maybe helpful, maybe not helpful therapies that might be worth looking at. Over the weeks we’ll examine and discuss each one more in depth. But I thought it might be a good time to just talk about the different avenues open to someone looking.

1) Biofeedback for the brain. This therapy monitors brain waves and plays games to reduce brain noise and increase the right kind of brain waves that help with attention and concentration. This is a therapy that is often recommended. We tried it for our daughter, with very little result. The problem: it’s VERY expensive and as you know with brain therapies they are really only effective if you can get massed, focused practice. So, if you can find a good practitioner and if you can afford to have at least 3 sessions a week for an indeterminate amount of time, it’s possible this could be very effective therapy. Possible.

2) Medication. Woah. Stop. I saw you shaking your head there and probably thought “I’m not going to be one of those parents that medicates their child.” I’m just guessing. I don’t know how far down the road of this journey most of you are, but I’ve heard this thing from many a parent. So, I just want to say a couple of things. First of all, the view that parents indiscriminately medicate their child has come from the media and is just plain not true 99% of the time. No parent, including myself, has gone the medication route without AGONIZING over it. But there are kids, including my daughter, that benefit from medication. So, please don’t think you will become a bad mother if you go the medication route. I heard a talk from Howard Eaton who runs the Arrowswmith program (much like Fast ForWord, but more in depth as it targets 19 different learning issues with very specific therapies) and of 100 kids admitted, they told the parents of 10-15 of them (I can’t remember the exact number) that they wouldn’t get through the programme without medication — because brain change takes focus, which these kids just didn’t have. After the programme only 3 of them still required medication. So, maybe medication might be a short-term solution, like you might use a crutch while a leg injury heals.

However, just this week a new study found that kids on ADHD medication were 6-8 times more likely to die suddenly than the norm, so you really have to weigh the pros and cons on that one. (Like you weren’t going to do that right?)  

3) Nutrition. This is a tricky one. Get allergies tested obviously. Also get a good naturopath that can test for sensitivities that don’t come up on allergy tests. The problem with allergy tests is that unless something causes a physiological response it isn’t an allergy, so if it causes a behavioural response (like aggressive behaviour) that wouldn’t be classified as an allergy, but is very important information for you. I actually do not recommend going the whole hog organic mommy routine because it can set up a bad food dynamic and extra tension in an already tense household. But diet can be very effective, you just have to be kind of sneaky about it and flexible enough to let some bad foods through.

4) Vision Therapy. Can also be very effective for some kids. Lots of eye exercises that help with changing focus etc. This was more effective for my son than for my daughter but for neither one did I feel the benefits lasted very long. It’s also expensive and requires lots of hands-on exercises which can be tense for the same reasons that Fast ForWord can become tense.

5) Chelation. I would not do it. A nine-year-old autistic boy died from having chelation done.

6) Physical stuff — something that teaches focus like Yoga or Tae-Kwon-Do. If you go the martial arts route though be very careful what school you take him to. Some of them can have a really bad tyrant teacher dynamic.

7) Auditory Therapy — there’s Earobics, Tomatis and a few others that I can’t think of right now.

I think what’s trickiest is the complicated kids get a little distance with each therapy. Maybe Fast ForWord just looked like a magic bullet for my daughter because at that point she’d already been through all the therapies I mentioned plus a couple of others. But lots of little distances still add up to a long distance.

What have you tried? What’s worked? What wasn’t the $$ or the time? Did you try something that isn’t on the list? We really need to know.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Mothership, Star Catalogue, summer solstice | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Big Lie–If I could just (fill in the blank) then I would be (fill in the blank).

Posted on June 4, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

It turns out, work isn’t the reason I wasn’t “getting stuff done”. I’m very good at not getting stuff done, all on my own.

I am not so slowly driving myself crazy with my scattered mind. I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on one thing for a long time, unless it’s distracting myself with shiny stuff like everything that’s been posted on the internet in the last 24 hours.

I start off by saying, okay I’m going to follow my morning routine, oh, but wait I didn’t finish those labels for the Pool Boy so I’ll just do that and then get back on track. Then I kind of resurface two hours later and feel despondent that yet again, I’ve dishonoured my commitment to the morning routines. But wait, I’m on vacation, I shouldn’t worry about routines, this is my chance to get big projects done. I should get that garden built first because we’re running out of time to start actually growing things. But I should do it early because it’s so freaking hot that if I wait any longer I’m going to get sun stroke. Oh, and look there’s my bike. I should really take the bike trailer into get the wheels fixed so that tomorrow I can take Griffin with me on a bike ride. But maybe what I need to concentrate on is make a more welcoming environment, so I don’t feel tired every time I look at my messy desk and plain white walls, and way past expiry date carpet. Oh, look at the time, I should really get to the gym so I can take that workout routine up a notch in terms of frequency. I’m getting hungry. Gosh, maybe I should ditch it all and go the beach. I’ll get some fish and chips and enjoy looking at the sparkly water. And on and on it goes, until I get to the end of the day and the Pool Boy innocently asks me what I did today and I snap at him because I feel ashamed that I had ALL DAY to do stuff and got so little done, because really I spent most of the day starting and switching directions.

My stomach hurts just going through that mental process.

What I’m doing to myself is re-emphasizing over and over again, that whatever I’m doing in that moment is the wrong thing. I am doing this when I should be doing that. If I could just focus on this one thing then everything else would be better. I am wandering when I should be focused and focused, albeit on the wrong thing, when I should be wandering.

I am wrong. I am doing it wrong. All the time wrong.

My temptation is to look to someone else. Someone else needs to hold me accountable (didn’t work out so well for the Pool Boy). Someone else needs to tell me how to move past this crazy-making thinking. Someone else needs to tell me how to be creative.

But maybe that’s how this craziness all got started. I started to believe that everyone else had the answer. So, I’m stuck in trying to implement the answers from about 20 different experts. I have too many voices going on inside my head.

And I would try to say that I just need to listen to my own inner voice but it seems to be altered by the experts’ stamp on my brain. I now have inner representations of someone else’s thoughts and beliefs that I don’t think I could possibly separate them out anymore. This is when neuroplasticity is a curse rather than a blessing.

HOWEVER. There is something in the routine thing that is appealing. Here’s the idea that keeps cropping up. My idea is to keep going through my routines as listed on paper, but stopping when they hit a snag to streamline whatever it is that isn’t working. For instance, our get out the door routine hits a snag EVERY SINGLE DAY because the boys can’t find socks. So, I need to look at what’s going on in that sock step that’s tripping us up. Likewise, writing is on my list, but almost every day I manage to avoid it, and it is partly because my desk and office space is becoming delibatingly cluttered with the undone and the ugly. So, I still have to do the writing, but maybe I preface that with 15 minutes of clearing the decks. BUT I DON”T HAVE TO FINISH before I get to write. I’ll just get a little further everyday, in both the writing and the cleaning.

Even re-vamping the decor can largely be done in small steps with some concessions to the hours long project.

Can I learn to accept that life is perpetually unfinished and in process? And that I won’t get through the whole list right away, but will make a little more headway every day (or some days).

The problem is in this sentence:

If I could just _______, then I would be ________.

If i could just focus, then I would be successful.

If I could just eat better, then I would be thin.

If I could just have a nap, then I would be less irritable.

If I could just get this kitchen cleaned up, I would be peaceful.

If I could just get this one thing done then it all would fall into place.

And not that these thing may not be true. Maybe focus does equal success. Maybe not. But the way I’m perpetually phrasing it in my head assumes I don’t have it. It assumes a lack, a barrier. The good stuff is over there and I’m stuck over here.

So, here’s my paradox “If I could just stop thinking the If I could just sentence then I would be peaceful.

Doesn’t a double-negative make a positive?

Make no suggestions in the comments, just let me know that you sometimes feel like this. If I’m going to drive myself over the edge, I don’t want to go alone. It will be like Thelma and Louise but for the internet. Thelma and Louise 2.0.

And that concludes my meditation portion of my morning routine. Only 5 hours past scheduled time. Yay me!

Posted in Gravity, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Moon | 8 Comments

I’ve Been Hosed

Posted on May 30, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

So, I realize I must have tempted fate last week saying everything was so, SO great yada, yada, yada.

This sad tale starts when I went to Shoppers Drug Mart to get some pantyhose. I know the aisle (aisle 1), my size (size never-you-mind), my brand (Secret). I’m in, I’m out of that store in less than 5 minutes. Except, this time, as I approached the location of my pantyhose, I got a feeling of foreboding. It looked different somehow. As I got closer my foreboding was taken over by full on anguish.

All the Secret pantyhose had been removed from the shelf. All that remained was an entire wall of some new brand I’d never heard of called “Allude” which is apparently the new Shoppers Drug Mart house label.

What a dumb name for hosiery.

AND not only THAT, but instead of the usual plastic and cardboard affair that hosiery is usually packaged in, they’ve gone that extra distance and put the cardboard and plastic inside a box. Because that’s what’s popular these days is extra packaging.

But of course they haven’t changed the shelving, just shoved these boxes into what used to contain much thinner envelopes.

So, I’m game. I locate what should be the equivalent of what I usually get both in size and colour. I can’t get the box out of the shelf because it’s wedged in so tightly and won’t bend. So far I’m not impressed with the new direction Shoppers is taking.

The tight wedging motif continued at home.

I put them on. Well, tried to put them on. I now this is a shocker, but they didn’t fit. After wrestling with them for a few minutes I finally get them on although the waistband is sitting about two inches below my waist and my self-esteem has very handily been flushed down the toilet. Then, the seam tears, and a run starts down the leg.

And as Fiddledee might say, I owed the cuss jar a whole lot of money. If we had a cuss jar. What I have is a four and 11/12ths year old that gets a shocked look on his face and says “You just said a bad word.” or in this case “a whole lot of bad words.”

These Allude pantyhose have the texture of wearing cardboard that’s been bent a bunch of times to make it flexible and mold it into a shape.

The only happy part of the experience is that there was a 100% satisfaction guarantee or money back stamped on the extraneous packaging.

And that is just how mad I was, that the next day I stomped back into Shoppers Drug Mart, demanded my money back and gave the poor returns girl an earful about all the things that were wrong with these pantyhose. To her credit, she was very gracious, gave my money back without a fuss and pretended like she really wanted to hear all my griping because “they really need feedback on the new label.”

(Sidebar: It’s official, I’ve become a senior citizen. And not the sweet little old lady who bakes cookies for the lifeguards at the pool because they work so hard. Oh no. I am the senior citizen that demands the newspaper delivery person put the newspaper headline side up, hinge side towards the door, on the middle of the welcome mat in a plastic bag but NOT with a rubber band, and god help that poor person if he treads on my lawn in the process. Old woman, yells at cars. That is how I’ll be known in this town.)

I feel totally justified in raging against a corporation because they’ve decided to get on the house label bandwagon and mess with the way things are, otherwise known as the way I like it. I just hate these stores that can’t just buy off the supply chain, but also have to BE the supply chain. For instance, continuing my hosiery motif, I can no longer find the Balega brand of socks I like (Hidden Comfort) because every store I go into seems to have mainly their own brand of socks with the occasional concession to Nike or Adidas, and their house labels are nothing like the Balega brand I like.

Allude, Western Family, President’s Choice, Expressions, Kirkland, Joe’s, Life. This whole house label thing is rampant. It makes no business sense to me. Why not be known for researching and carrying the highest quality brands or the lowest cost brands or whatever it is you want to be known for? Because when I go into a store and I want some choices and when all you sell is your brand, then I’m going to go do my comparison shopping somewhere else, especially if I’ve had one bad experience with your label.

I also suspect that what’s happening at the other end of the supply chain is that the corporation that wants their own label are grinding the suppliers to provide these items at so close to cost, that the supplier is then forced to cut back on quality lest they go out of business altogether. Hence cardboard tube pantyhose.

And what has Shopper’s Drug Mart gained? They certainly haven’t impressed me with the quality of their label. So, now, in my mind the brand that I associate with  Shoppers Drug Mart is cheap and substandard overpackaged product, and when I need that pantyhose plus the oh, while I’m here I’ll pick up these other 5 things I need, I’m going to London Drugs who still carry the Secret brand.

So there.

My question is this. Why don’t businesses ask their customers what they would like? I know we don’t always know. For instance, I would never have been able to say I want a vacuum that doesn’t lose suction and has a ball for a front wheel before Dyson came on the market. But I for sure would have been able to tell them I don’t care if you have a house label.

I just figured our why the house label thing bothers me. Because it’s ego. It’s more about the business, than the customer. It makes the strategic thinkers at the top look like they’re doing something. The house label is the business putting on a new suit and strutting and preening like a peacock. Look how good we are. Look at what we made. We have a new look. We’re branding ourselves.

Too bad the emperor is wearing no clothes. Just a pair of cardboard tube pantyhose with runs down the leg and a split seam.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Meteor Shower, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

The Way of the Brochure — Journey’s End

Posted on May 27, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!

My brochure is finally triple proofed and that ain’t no drink although it should be because I’m drunk on the realization that that brochure which went through 18 drafts and that ain’t no drinking game is finally, after almost pushing me over the edge even though I know the way of the brochure is never straight is finally — FINALLY!!! — at the printers and you know what that means?!? Well do you??!?!

I get to take two weeks off.

That’s right.

I am on VAYCAYSHUN (you have to channel Sock, you know, from Reaper, and say it in a sing-songy voice with some hip-hop attitude, which I totally can’t pull off but I’m going to do it anyway.)

While everyone else in the family continues to go to school and daycare and work I am going to take two weeks off.

Just to be. I have a vague notion that I want to get grounded. Rested. Establish some routines. Clear my head.

But I have no specific plans, or destinations, just lots of ideas.

Lots and lots and LOTS of ideas. Too many ideas. A veritable Pandora’s Box of ideas. There’s so much stuff that I’ve put off because “I’m working” and so now that I’m not working for, did I mention, two whole weeks, I feel like I could cram SO MUCH into them. I could plant a garden, paint the house, cook gourmet meals, do a commando re-design of my studio space, go for long bike rides, kick TMJ’s ass, write a book, do the ironing (I think I know where I last saw the ironing board), sort the Lego, put together a cabaret act, learn my tap dance number, workout 3 hours a day, make a scrapbook, nap in my hammock. Wait, what was that last one?

Nap in my hammock.

Mmmmmm. Maybe I’ll just do that.

And read. Maybe write. With a pen and pretty paper. And a nice umbrella drink beside me.

It’s called multi-tasking yo! (Sock! Remember?)

I’d show you a picture of my hammock with it’s surrounding gazebo, but our household Gollum has now absconded with the battery charger for the camera. I’m not sure what his obsession is with our camera accoutrements, but there you are. You’ll have to take my word for it, it’s blissful.

I might pop in now and again, but this is your official notice that this bjournal is on holiday schedule from now until June 15th. I’ll post some stuff from the archives from the era before people were reading.

Otherwise, you just can pull up one of those folding Ikea lawn chairs because I already called shotgun on the hammock and we can have a good ol’ chin wag, like people used to do, you know, before the internet. Bring coffee treats. And a glue gun. Maybe some house paint.

Posted in Eclipse, summer solstice, Sun | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Tuesday BITs — Body Mind Connection

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North
Today is the Discussion of Trinity of Brain Issues (Learning Disabilities, ADHD, and Aspergers) and the Treatment Thereof Tuesday (DTBITTT) or in short form Tuesday BITs.

Is your brain issue kid one of the ones that also have body issues? I’m not talking about poor hygiene, although I know that can be a problem with some kids. I’m talking about lack of coordination, poor fine motor skills, lack of awareness of one’s body in space and relative to other people. Not all kids with brain issues have this particular problem, but lots do. And it’s the kind of problem that when it comes up its always dealt with as a side issue, if at all. It’s recognized but nothing is done about it. And I’m beginning to think this is a big mistake.

My daughter might be a great artist because she’s very visual and sees things h0listically but a little diagonally if you know what I mean. But her lack of fine motor skills will limit her success and her feeling of success in that area. She would love to be a performer, but struggles in a dance class to understand group instructions and be able to translate what she sees into her body. When we go shopping, she is constantly running into people because she seems unaware of her body in space. She has bull in a china shop syndrome.

Watching her made me remember myself when I began acting school. See, this is where I’m sure I was directed into this particular acting course for a reason. My training was very physically based, meaning that by and large we created characters by creating physical bodies and ways of moving for them. Most acting programmes focus on developing a character through the mind and letting that translate into the body. In short, my training moved from the outside in rather than inside out. It’s a really interesting approach and one that leads to characters that are very far outside yourself, which in acting is a very good thing.

Now, when I first started acting school, the idea of a movement class terrified me. I wasn’t particularly athletic or dancy. I defined myself by my brain and my voice and thought that maybe if I could get by on those two things no one would require me to move at all. Oh, naive one was I! Movement class forced me wrestle my demons of “don’t look at me while I’m dancing.” But I got over it, and in the end, it opened up a whole new world to me. We were introduced to Laban, Contact Improvisation, Feldenkrais, Alexander, modern dance, Pilates, and yoga just to name a few.

After observing my daughter struggle with these body issues, I kept bringing it with the various professionals that we’ve encountered but no one seemed to know what to do about it. So, first of all, I’m putting it out there. Someone who is highly specialized in these movement forms (particularly, Laban, Feldenkrais, and Alexander) needs to design some classes for these brain issue kids. Because, just like an actor can build a character for the stage from the outside in, I bet that sorting out the body issues may also lead to improved brain function. What if improving body awareness, could help a kid learn to read? Or have better social skills? The most prevalent philosophy of treatment for brain issues kind of treats our brains like a brain sitting in the jar of our body. You can treat the brain, but why would you treat the jar? But our body and brains aren’t walled off entities, but intrinsically, and dare I use that overused corporate word, synergistically connected. Our brain is an organic thing too. Brain=body.

Secondly, in truth, the universe has already partially answered my question. Michael Merzenich, one of the developers of Fast ForWord recently blogged about Anat Baniel and her new book Move Into Life. Anat was trained by Moshe Feldenkrais (see above) and used his methods to further develop her own philosophy/practice of movement. I’m halfway through the book and so far it’s terrific–simple and yet insightful. Although be warned she does have an offhand way of saying “After 10 minutes of working with me, his life was changed forever.” that I find a little off-putting. I think her method may be very powerful and have wide applications, but it can’t be the answer to life, the universe and everything. Still, I’ve delved a little further into her website and found a practitioner in my area, so perhaps the answer is close at hand.

I will keep you posted.

Does your child struggle with these types of body issues? Have you discovered anything that works (or doesn’t)? Talk to me.

Posted in Big Bang, Mothership, Observatory | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Couple of Pieces of Happy

Posted on May 22, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North
Well, my friends, it’s been another good week. My karmic wheel must be on an upswing because I even got a parking spot about 20 feet away from the beach this evening.

I know! Woah!

So, I have no major irritations to share in a my customary sardonic fashion. I’ve been left quite without material.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING!

Although, now that I think about it, I may have jinxed the whole thing by talking about money while I was in the car, so next week may bring a karmic wheel with a slow leak and a missing hubcap. But for right now…things are good.

So, I just wanted to share with you a couple pieces of happy out there in internet land.

1) This is so much fun, I couldn’t believe it. You can make your own Lego mini-me.

Here’s my creation. And, yes, I do realize I’m mixing my Sci-Fi what with the Star Trek uniform and the Star Wars light sabre, so now that I’ve admitted up front I don’t want to be getting any flak from you sci-fi purists. And I don’t want to hear from any of you non-purists pointing out that the fact that I’ve realized I’m mixing my sci-fi with abandon may actual include me in the category of sci-fi fanatic, which I adamantly deny even if I do have my own Star Trek crew.  

Tentative Equinox North prepares for battle.

T.E.N. prepares for the day.

 

2) The subversive but hilarious Whack-a-Kitty

 

 

So, what’s new with you? How’s your karmic wheel?

Posted in Star Catalogue | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

In which I am self-serving, but in a good community-building kind of way, at least if you’re over 30.

Posted on May 21, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

Well, this post is my Wahoo Wednesday post. I know its Thursday, but we Canadians had a holiday on Monday (thank you Queen Victoria) and its messed me up. This week, I’m excited by an idea because I saw it take hold in someone else and it made me remember that this is something I want to put out there for real.

Suppose just for a moment I was an accountant. All my life, I had loved numbers, so when it came time to decide on a course in life, I decided I would go to accounting school. I enjoyed learning about all the intricacies of accounting and the system that’s evolved through the centuries. I learned when its just rote work and when it requires a bit of creativity and problem-solving. I got good marks. I graduated with honours. I then got a series of jobs in the accounting field—low-level jobs as becomes a recent graduate. I enjoyed the work and was continuing to add to my knowledge, skills, and abilities. But, while I had a graduation certificate, I did not yet have my licencing papers, which limits how high up the hierarchy an accountant can go. So, I decided I should work towards that. Now, keep in mind that during this time, regular life is happening too. I was dating. I got married. We moved a couple of times. There were car repairs and trips to the grocery store. You know. Life. A couple of years down the road, I was almost ready to take my licencing test when I discovered I was (very happily) pregnant.

And suddenly, a new trail opened up in the forest of my life. A trail full of twists and turns, and sudden cliffs, and flora and fauna I had never seen before. I loved the new trail.

3 kids and many years later, the trail in the forest started to run parallel to the first trail. And I had a yearning, since I could see that other trail looking all verdant and seductive. I had a yearning to forge a new path, one that brought those two trails together.

Now, what would you tell me, were I to say to you “I miss accounting. I want to go back to that.” ? You would probably tell me. “Totally do-able. Why don’t you take a refresher course and then start applying for jobs. You can also work towards getting your licensing stuff done.” You probably would not tell me “Well, if you’re past thirty and you haven’t yet made it as a top dog accountant, it’s probably never going to happen for you.” or “You’re kind of past your accounting ability peak. People are really looking for accountants at the peak of their accounting powers.” No one would question whether I could still cope with an income statement or wrestle a balance sheet into submission, or know my credits from debits.

But now substitute the word accounting for one of the creative professions. Instead of accountant, say actor, writer, singer, director, painter, choreographer, photographer, dancer. Now suddenly, we have a whole different set of beliefs. And all those things that you wouldn’t say to a non-practicing accountant are said regularly to those with creative inclinations — particularly if they had not yet gotten that licencing paper before their hiatus (the union status, the published book, the exhibition). So, we tell our creative people that they are relegated to the hobbyist echelon. You can take a workshop, work in community theatre, start a blog, join an arts council, share your photos on Flickr. And let me be clear, there is nothing inherently wrong with the hobbyist or enthusiast sphere. It’s a great creative outlet and re-entry point. A place to discover if you still love that thing you used to love. But it’s a difficult place to grow from. By and large, with obvious exceptions, it won’t push your boundaries.

I’m going to be controversial here. (How exciting!) I think the notion of talent is by and large crap and the belief systems that we’ve set up around talent are incredibly damaging. I think you get good at stuff because a) you love to do it and b) you practice it. Then people look at that passion plus that massed, focused practice and call you a natural. Yes, physically, some people are going to be more ‘talented’ than others. Physical structure can give someone a better voice or a longer stride. But for the most part, all that can be overcome with love of whatever it is, practice, and some good guidance. The good guidance part is important.

And let’s link this thought to the thing I keep harping on about here — neuroplasticity. We now know that our brains are plastic; that even us old fogies are capable of change and learning new things and re-learning the old things. Why is creativity something we think only the young are capable of?

Before this goes any further down the Rant Path which is also a seductive trail in my forest, although a bit more like a dark alley, let me bring it back to my idea.

In my case, you need to substitute acting for accounting. I went back in after my hiatus at the enthusiast level and discovered that yes, I still love it as much as I did when I left it. But there’s only so far I can go. With a three-week rehearsal process at the pro level, not too many people would be willing to take a chance on someone coming off of a long hiatus, and truthfully, I’m not as good as I once was. Not because I’m suddenly less “talented” or “past my talent peak,” but because acting is one of the hardest of the creative arts to practice solo. I’m unpracticed. I need to knock the rust out of my acting joints, to remember the stuff I learned back in acting school. It’s in the muscle memory somewhere, I just need to get it to the surface.

I need a refresher course.

I need something more than a once a week workshop and less than a 2-year full-time programme.

And since no one seems to be offering it, because the whole world is obsessed with training our blessed youth, then I want to put it together somehow.

These are the ingredients of what I’m thinking:

  • A short-term intensive for three months
  • Three times per week (2 evening and 1 weekend day)
  • Classes in acting, movement, and voice.
  • Some ‘businessy’ type stuff, like resumes, headshots, auditioning etc.
  • Taught by real working professionals (although they need to be good teachers too, not all working actors are good teachers)
  • short term (1-2 week) focus on different approaches, techniques, and genres
  • the intensive would end with a showcase as a (re)introduction to the creative community with invitations to artistic directors, (maybe casting directors and agents too, although I know less about the film world than the theatre world)
  • minimum age 30
  • open to people with signficant training and/or experience in their background. There would need to be some qualifying stuff because this is not a class for outright beginners, however, since auditioning is part of the problem, I’m not sure that it should be based solely on an audition. Perhaps a resume, an interview/discussion and low pressure show us what you can do kind of audition
  • Class limit 10-12. All participants, no auditors.
  • Cost probably around $1,000 (to pay for the instructors, the space, and the cost for the final showcase)

What should it be called? ‘Refresher Course for Actors“? “Post-Intermission Class“? “Getting Ready for your Second Act“? Suggestions welcome.

What do you think? Would you sign up? Are you interested in teaching it? Do you have a space we could use?

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Everything I needed to know about social skills I learned from the Big Bang Theory

Posted on May 19, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

Well, it’s Tuesday BITs (Brain Issue Therapies) again already, and today, as foretold in last week’s post, I will open that can of worms called social skills.

Have you discovered the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory yet? Could also be titled Four Nerds and a Pretty Girl which pretty much sums up the premise. Besides having an awesome theme song by the Barenaked Ladies, the Sheldon character is very much a study in aspergers. He’s a theoretical physicist that can plumb the depths of quantum physics but doesn’t understand sarcasm, or birthday celebrations, or being socially flexible. In this clip, titled the Friendship Algorithim, Sheldon creates a friendship flow-chart. Watch.

 

 

See? What more do you need to know about making friends?

One of the other fabulous lines that I find myself continually hearkening back to was when Sheldon was disputing the need to to buy his friend, Leonard, a birthday present. His friend, Howard eventually tells him 

It’s a non-negotiable social protocol.”

Which of course Sheldon accepts without protest.

And really, that’s what teaching social skills is like. For the socially impaired, it’s quite literally learning a second language. They need access to flow charts and a list of non-negotiable social protocols committed to memory.

Big Bang Theory aside, the overall approach we’re taking with social skills training is Social Thinking. (Really, there is so much great information at this website. You should go there and look around. I couldn’t possibly do it justice.)

Overall, instead of teaching a way of behaving, we’re teaching a way of thinking. Because, while you can teach a kid to look someone in the eye and shake their hand whenever they meet someone, we all know that there are times when that isn’t the right thing to do. But how can the socially impaired person tell? By learning a way of thinking about social situations rather than a specific way to behave.

This is a very useful model for those who have high-functioning autism (aspergers, PDD-NOS). That’s a weird sounding sentence because it sounds like the autism is high-functioning, not the child, but I try to avoid saying “My child is autistic” because I don’t think her disorder defines her. She has autism. She isn’t autism.  

Back to my point.

We used the Super-Flex program to start off with. Super-Flex is the super-hero, and he has a cast of villains that are getting in the way of his ultimate goal of social success. The villains are great like Rock Brain, who stops you from thinking about anything else but one topic, or Wasfunnyonce, who made people laugh once and continued to repeat the same joke in the hope that people will continue to laugh. It works well in that it takes the realm of social skills outside of yourself. It’s not me who’s bad, my brain has just been taken over by Rock Brain. But, I can fight him with my super-flexible thinking!

It is better for younger kids though. Still for the pre-teens and teenagers it’s a good place to start.

We’ve also been using social behaviour mapping. This outlines a location or situation (like going grocery shopping) and the therapist and the child come up with expected and unexpected behaviours and what are the results of each. What is the likely results of my expected or unexpected behaviours?

The guiding principle that we’ve been trying to insill has been this: Is what I’m doing going to give the people around me good or weird thoughts; i.e, will people see what I’m doing and think “That’s a bit strange.” or “She seems nice.”

And so help me, it’s starting to work. At times she still seems robotic, but as she isn’t fluent yet, that’s to be expected. You’d be the same way if we imported you into a foreign country with only cursory knowledge of the language right?

That’s the thing I’m learning about social skills, we all speak with an accent of some kind.

So, how’s the social skills training going for you? Found other stuff that works we should know about? Tried anything that was useless? That’s good information too. Please share.

PS: We actually do use Big Bang Theory for social skills training. My daughter has to do some work she doesn’t like (social behaviour mapping) and her reward (or reinforcer if you will) is that she gets to watch an episode or two of The Big Bang Theory, which she loves. Our Chekov (home therapist) pauses whenever there’s a lesson to be learned and says things like “Did you see Penny’s face there? What do you think she’s feeling?” or “Do you think that Sheldon should have said that? What could he have done differently?”

PPS: There is some risque stuff in Big Bang Theory, so not for the under-ten set, and depending on your parenting thresholds may not be appropriate for the under 14 crowd.

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Week in Review and a Thought

Posted on May 16, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

First of all, a quick apology to my own commitment, for dishonouring it in the first week I started it. I said I was going to post Friday and it is now Saturday. I don’t believe it’s Friday in any part of the world right now, so I can’t even claim that. I kept putting it off and then at the last possible time I had to go do something about it, there was a movie on tv I wanted to watch, and I dissoved into a pile of tv-watching goo.

I’m now re-inserting some backbone.

It was A Good Week:

My Mom’s cancer hasn’t dissoved any of her bones and it hasn’t appeared in any of her organs (yay!). I had a terrific meeting with my daughter’s school team which I will probably say more about on Tuesday BITS. I got to meet in actual 3-D with an old friend, sing at my voice lesson and dance at my tap dance class. In other tap dance news, we had our group picture taken — which is hilarious when you think about it; a bunch of grown-ups posing for a class photo like we were 11-year-olds. My brochure is nearing completion and the scheduling difficulties I was having are almost resolved.

Also in a good news/bad news situation:

I believe I have found the address where my headaches live and it’s called TMJ (temperomandibular joint disorder). So, that means the headaches aren’t going away tomorrow or anything, but I can get rid of most of them soon with muscle therapies and most probably 1.5 years of (sob!) orthodontics. I would love to hear from actual people who have dealt with this condition, if they have recommendations for things that work for them or things that didn’t work at all or very well. Not interested in being solicited by people who are selling pillows and mouthguards. I believe the guy I’m going to can help me, but it’s going to cost many $$$’s so I would like to know if there are less expensive but effective alternatives out there.

And finally, the thing I want to talk about:

The Dip (or how to succeed while being inconsistent)

I’ve been involved with The Coach Approach at my gym. It’s for people (like what? 90% of us?) who have had trouble making exercise a consistent part of their lives. You meet with a coach at ever-lengthening intervals for approximately 6 months (although it took me 8). The coach and you come up with long-term goals, break it down into short terms goals. You sign a contract agreeing to these things. You have discussions about strategies and obstacles. She designs a workout for you. She gets you hooked up on FitLinxx, which is basically an online exercise tracking program. The great thing about Fitlinxx is that a large portion of the tracking can be done right from the machine, so you don’t have to remember how far you went and how many calories you burned. The machine sends that information right from its little brain to the Big Fitlinxx brain. And every month Fitlinxx sends me a little report card telling me how many elephants I lifted that month and how many chocolate sundaes I’ve burned off. It also compares activity across months. And all this is free with my gym membership which I think is actually pretty great.

Since I started this programme in mid-September 2008, I have lifted 215,000 lbs over 3,359 reps in 241 sets. I have logged 65 hours of cardio time over 115 visits and burned more than 25,000 calories. And I did it while being what appeared to me to be wildly inconsistent.

Now, here’s the thing. I’m not a model graduate by any means. My April chart was lower than my December one for various reasons, mostly due to Lorelei. I have had a stressful year and my coping methods include (but are certainly not limited to) self-medicating with chocolate, staying up too late watching guilty pleasure television, and talking myself out of anything that resembles physical exercise, (because I loathe my inner cheerleader with a passion normally reserved for the Crusades and the Beatles). In the past, after the spectacular failure of April, I would have cancelled or indefinitely postponed my next meeting with my coach, or flat-out lied about how well I was doing — because they want you to succeed, and I feel like if I’m failing, it’s my fault. They want you say “Wow, I never realized before that I feel better after I exercise.” And the pressure to agree with that is just so tempting.

Instead, I admitted it. Sent a message to my coach that said “I’m flailing, I need some help here.” We had a phone conversation which helped. I got myself kind of back on track. I went to our regular meeting as scheduled and said “I’m not doing the things that I agreed to do. I’ve lost some ground in my fitness level and I don’t know what to do about it.” We came up with more manageable goals. I backed off some ambition so that I could be successful. And she could point out to me, that I haven’t abandoned it altogether even when I had a bad month. That I’ve averaged 8 hours of cardio a month. Averaged. So, that means, some months I’ve done much better than 8 hours per month.

So, in a weird, haphazard, inconsistent way, I’ve been consistent.

I’m wondering if This is The Dip that Seth Godin talks about. I’ll have to get that book. As I understand it, the Dip is the failure just before the success. Things are on a rise and then they dip. If you can get through the Dip, success is on the other side — unless of course, out and out failure is on the other side. The hard part is distinguishing something that’s just simply not working from something that’s going through The Dip.

When I logged into FitLinxx at the gym, I got a shower of fireworks in the screen as it recognized me for my new graduation status. One of the other coaches congratulated me. She said “Good for you for finishing; not everyone does.” Interesting that it’s not a congratulations for meeting my goals, but for seeing it through.

I’m linking this thought to something else I’ve observed about people who come here looking for Fast ForWord information. People don’t come back to tell me how Fast ForWord went for them. And I wonder if that’s because it didn’t work for them and they feel like it’s their fault. I wonder if life got to them, and they couldn’t be as consistent as they felt they needed to be. I wonder if they felt it became a source of anger and angst in the household that they couldn’t take.

Let me be honest here. For some reason, mostly because I believed in it, knew the value of it and it was summer holidays, I was indeed able to be consistent with Fast ForWord. It’s one of the only things in my entire life that I was consistent at ensuring got done. BUT, I was not always cheerful about it. Some days it was an order and some days it was a loud order, and some days the kids did it because they knew Mom would be mad if they didn’t do it. I tried to lighten up about it, because I recognize that it’s easier for them to do it if they WANT to do it, but here’s the thing–they didn’t want to do it. Because it’s not as entertaining as an X-box game, or as fun as bouncing on the trampoline, or the host of other alternatives available to them. It sucks to be bad at something and it’s irritating to have to repeat the same exercise over and over again at pretty much the same level. It’s hard, frustrating, and aggravating to work your weaknesses. It wasn’t until several weeks in when I could point out that a graph had suddenly gone way up that they started to feel true success. And then they’re also starting to build some skills like oh, an attention span and a quicker processing speed that enables them to concentrate for longer periods of time. That’s when the fighting about it lessens, or disappears. But they were successful despite it being a source of agitation in the household.

And in the end. Fast ForWord has worked brilliantly for my daughter, less so for my son (although he has seen some benefits). And she doesn’t mind having to do Fast ForWord. My son does. There’s definitely a relationship there. It doesn’t work equally well in all cases. But you’re not going to know that unless you work through that dip.

This is my plea to all those parents who have tried Fast ForWord, or any other therapies frankly. Did it work for you? If it didn’t, it’s okay. It might not be your fault. Did life make it hard to be consistent? Did you see gains but not as much as you’d hoped? Did it create too much tension in the household? That is all legitimate. Leave a comment here, on my Fast ForWord page. I’m really anxious to have a conversation about this.

And for the rest of you. What do you think about this dip idea? Are there things that you’re beating yourself up about? Do you blame yourself for failure when you really just need to have a long talk with yourself about what’s really going on? I sure do. A clue for me is the phrase that goes like this:

If I could just make myself <insert action phrase here> then I would be <insert happy synonym here>.

Because that is truly the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Somebody starting thinking it not knowing that it looped, and I’ll continue thinking it until I’m really hooped because…

Posted in Big Bang, Mothership, Observatory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Wahoo Wednesday the First

Posted on May 13, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

It’s Wahoo Wednesday. The day I share with you the stuff I’m going WAHOOO! about.

Wahoo 1 for the Internet

This is a tale with many turns. I will start where most stories start, where it all started. I don’t think it’s a big secret that I work in theatre. So, for a while I’ve been scanning through theatre blogs bjournals to see what was out there and one of the best is The Next Stage. I like his indie arts perspective, and his passion for theatre is infectious. I got referred from his site to another arts marketing bjournal, Mission Paradox. I then added that to my ever-growing list because I like his idea-a-day kind of style; a style I subsequently discovered he emulates from Seth Godin.

Here’s my favourite Seth Godin talk–It’s Broken (that’s the title of the talk, not its state). It’s 20 minutes long, but it will make you laugh and think and want to change the world:

 

 

Seth Godin in turn referred his readers to Chris Guillibeau’s free manifesto 279 Days to Overnight Success (which, by the way, is pretty great). In the Manifesto Chris refers to 26 people that have had a strong influence on him. One of those people was/is Havi Brooks. I clicked on her website, The Fluent Self and I fell in love. I love her writing, her philosophy, the way she’s created new words like destuckify and biggification. (Take that ‘meh’!) At my next opportunity of affordability, I am going to purchase her Procrastination Dissolve-o-matic. I got the free stuff (at the bottom of the page of that last link /\) and am very excited to take a look as soon as I’m done here.

So how’s that for some routing? From Vancouver to Chicago to New York (at least I think Seth Godin’s is based in New York, that may not in fact be true) to Portland. A scenic but worthwhile route. Aren’t all the best routes the scenic ones?

It’s these kind of people that keep me tuned into the internet.

Moving on.

 

Wahoo 2 for literature and the translation thereof:

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith. Now in book and television form. Love the book series. Love the television series. Find a way to get both. Honestly, it is such a rare thing to find a book translated into another medium without losing the charm of the original. This has managed it. My advice: Buy everything he writes.

Paul Coelho. I now understand that his book The Alchemist has been around for 20 years. So, I don’t know where I’ve been, but I’ve just discovered him and I love him. LOVE HIM! Charming and poetic and funny and moving and wise and complicated and simple. I could go on. But instead, I will just move on…

to my final wahoo because I know you’re exhausted with all these links…

Two visual wahoos…

because I ended up having to do a bunch of research on vintage labels for work. Really.

These are my absolute favourite:

 

Gay Johnny Vegetables

Funny. He doesn't look very happy.

 

Because nothing makes me want oranges more than a Moor with anger issues.

Because nothing makes me want oranges more than a Moor with anger issues.

Tell me what you’re Wahooing about today.
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