True Confessions

I have a confession to make. I do not, (cannot?, will not? am unable to?) close cupboard doors. Drawers too. It drives my husband crazy. Whenever it’s brought to my attention, I try to reform myself. I set myself a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Sensitive) worded something like

Close the damn cupboards after I open them!

Sadly, to no avail. After two days (that’s my personal best) of obsessively closing cupboard doors even before I open them, sometimes foregoing what I needed inside of them to avoid the necessity of having to remember to close them again, I will walk into the kitchen and with a start that makes my stomach drop into my shoes, realize that every single cupboard door and drawer in the kitchen is open. Sometimes even the refrigerator door.

I wish I had a poltergeist I could blame it on. Hey, now that’s not a bad idea. Maybe I’ll pile the dining room chairs on top of the table one of these days to throw my husband off the scent of my absentmindedness.

Why can’t I just choose to be a cupboard door closer? Why am I seemingly hard-wired to be cupboard door leaver opener? I suspect that it’s a personality flaw that I can’t escape.

To digress for a moment. (This will come back to the point at hand, your honour, but I like scenic routes). One of the hardest things about voice training is when the voice type you have is not the voice type you want. For instance, the choir boy tenor, who becomes a bass-baritone when his voice changes, may go through actual psychological turmoil. I know I was disappointed upon discovering that I was a mezzo-soprano and not the most desired of all female voices–a soprano. We have indoctrinated in us the idea that “you can be anything you want to be.” and when reality rubs up against that, it can be a hard thing to reconcile.

But then again, neuroplasticity teaches us that a great many things ARE changeable — granted with long periods of focused effort — but definitely changeable.

Why does everything come back to the Serenity Prayer?

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Can I change my cupboard door leaver opener tendencies or overcome them? Hard-wired or plastic? Nature or nuture? What do you think? Am I destined to be flawed in this regard or can I overcome?

And which one are you–a CDC or a CDLO?

Posted in Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory, Wonderment | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Iolanthe (Ahem…The Fairy Queen!) Re-visited

Fairyland from Iolanthe Well, I’ve packed my bags and moved out of Fairyland. It’s been a bit of a culture shock getting back into the so-called “real world” and I must say it’s a bit over-rated. I am still in post-play exhaustion but no doubt will recover soon.

As a purely self-indulgent exercise I thought I would post a photo-journal of the Queen’s story arc. Yes, I know the play is not about me. But to me it is. What part about MY BLOG are you not understanding?

Act I

Here is where the Queen explains her munificence in commuting Iolanthe’s sentence of death to penal servitude for life…

Fairy Queen, Iolanthe May 2008

Then I’m convinced by my fairy band to summon her from her 25 years of banishment in the stream (she chose the stream, I didn’t).

Iolanthe summoned from her exile

Now that we’ve been re-united with Iolanthe, we discover that Iolanthe had a son by her mortal husband. In a lengthy pre-play exposition we learn that this son is nearing 25 years old, he is an Arcadian Shepherd, and he is in love with the lovely Phyillis, a Ward of Chancery, who he is determined to marry, without getting permission from the Lord Chancellor.  And most interestingly, we learn that he is HALF a fairy. From the head to the waist he is a fairy and from the waist downwards he is a mortal. Let’s meet him.

Here is where I suggest to him that with a fairy brain he should seek an intellectual sphere and perhaps go into Parliament (ah, the seeds are laid).

But with a fairy brain. You should seek an intellectual sphere.

After letting Strephon know that he can call on us if he’s in trouble, we depart for other fairy rings (tripping hither, tripping thither). He very soon takes us up on the offer of assistance when the Lord Chancellor gets wind of his upcoming illicit nuptials and then his intended catches him talking to his mother Iolanthe and mistakes her for “another woman” thus ending their engagement.

So, the fairies come in tripping hither and thither one more time. But the Peers won’t believe that Iolanthe is Strephon’s mother and they won’t believe we’re fairies. So, I threaten them with dire consequences. This moment was great fun…

The first curse in Iolanthe (Act 1 Finale)

Then there is a big build-up of tensions between the Fairies and the Peers ending with a resounding “They will soon, will soon repent!!!!!” Then the Fairy Queen threatens the Lord Chancellor again. (This time with actual thunder.) When he refuses to stand down, I reveal my sinister plot to make Strephon wreak the fairies  vengeance upon the Peers–we’re putting Strephon into Parliament. Then after all the this Wagnerian drama we break into a line dance. Yup, a line dance. Thank you Carol! (Into Parliament he shall go!)

Iolanthe, Act 1 Finale. Into Parliament he shall go.

After this there is a great cursing scene where I reveal all. The gist of it is that, in Parliament, whatever Strephon wants, Strephon gets. “Every bill and every measure, that may gratify his pleasure though your fury it arouses, shall be passed by BOTH your houses” Strephone is now a fairy puppet-dictator. End of Act 1

Act 11

There is much outrage about how Strephon is running the show in Parliament. The fairies are coy about it, the peers are outraged. Then, the fairies start falling in love with the Peers. The Queen discovers them and berates them for their weakness (“We know it’s weakness, but the weakness is so strong!”). Unfortunately, she herself falls for the guard on duty, Private Willis.

Now here is a man whose physical attributes are simply godlike. That man has a most extraordinary effect on me. If I yielded to a natural impulse I should fall down and worship that man. But I mortify this inclination. I wrestle with it and it lies beneath my feet. That is how I treat my regard for that man.

This isn’t a great picture, but it’s such a funny moment, I had to include it. I’m hyper-ventilating at this point. And Private Willis is doing a great job of not laughing.

Private Willis and the Fairy Queen

The Fairy Queen leaves him behind, albeit reluctantly, and sings a song lamenting how her fairy heart is as soft as theirs although she dare not say so.

Oh Foolish Fay

The second verse has a most bizarre turn of events where suddenly a fireman shows up and she sings of “true love kept under.” The background to this is that a Captain Shaw (of the fire brigade) always saw the opening nights of the G&S operettas at the D’Oyley Carte and so on the opening night of Iolanthe, the Fairy Queen sang this directly to him. Now it’s a tradition. It was a little weird. But hey, she just said she had a tendency to fall in love, why not two men in the space of 5 minutes?

Fairy Queen and Captain Shaw

Then, let’s see. Phyllis and Strephon meet again and this time she believes him when he tells her the very young woman she saw him talking tenderly to was his mother, and she finally believes that his mother is a fairy and Strephon a half-fairy. They resolve to marry. Iolanthe says she will plead their case to the Lord Chancellor who wants Phyllis for himself. Despite listening to a heart-rending plea from Iolanthe the Lord Chancellor reveals that Strephon will not be allowed to marry Phyllis because he has given himself permission to Phyllis. Iolanthe then reveals that she is the Lord Chancellor’s wife. This is the marriage for which she was banished all those years ago. Now that her vow is broken once again, the Fairy Queen is left no choice but to execute Iolanthe.

Iolanthe is almost executed

 That is until the other fairies reveal that they also have married mortals. The Fairy Queen is left with a dilemma. Does she execute the whole fairy company? What to do when the law explicitly requires death for every fairy that marries a mortal? The Lord Chancellor steps in to add his legal expertise and determines if we add the word “doesn’t” all will be well. “Let it stand, that every fairy who DOESN’T marry a mortal shall die.” The Fairy Queen, seeing this as her opportunity, agrees and immediately calls for Private Willis who magnanimously agrees to marry her to save her life.

Fairy Queen and Private Willis

So, I ‘knight’ him with my Gandalf and…what’s this?…Wings pop out from between his shoulder blades! I invite the rest of the company to join us and they in turn pop out wings.

Then away we go to Fairyland! And a boisterous Act II finale…

Finale of Iolanthe May 2008 FVGSS

And Curtain!

Thanks to Paddy Tennant for all the great photos.

And now I have to go sit on the couch and watch sitcoms until my brain leaks out my ears.

Posted in Stardust | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Parenting Dilemma

Am I a bad parent if I send my son to school sporting a backpack that advertises a local casino?

Just to be clear. My husband won said backpack in a radio station sponsored black jack tournament. He won the entry through the radio station, it cost him nothing (he also didn’t win anything, unfortunately) but all entrants received a gift back pack–with the casino’s logo on it.

Here’s the cost-benefit analysis. Cost of a new back pack — they start at $10 and go up from there. My son goes through like 2 a year. This is a good quality back-pack and it cost me nothing. But what is the cost of public judgment? Will anyone even notice? Should I embroider on the number for Gambler’s anonymous to combat the pro-gambling message? Or a bumper sticker that says “Know your limit, stay within it.” Wait a second, I might do that just to entertain myself, never mind anyone else.

You know, I’m curious to see how this plays out. It’s a gamble, but it might be worth it.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Mothership, Observatory | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Bad Review

My daughter’s class is doing a module on career planning. Parents were asked to come and talk to the class about their jobs. As I think I have a pretty cool job, I volunteered. I went. I made my presentation. It seemed to go well. My daughter says I didn’t embarass her. Today she reported to me that one kid in her class gave my presentation a 1. 1 is apparently the low end of the scale, although since this child’s intelligence is already in question in my books, I’m not completely convinced the poor dear understood that.

Maybe I should have brought some SWAG like my husband did. Popularity can be bought for the cost of a latex swimming cap.

Does he not realize he’s messing with the Queen of the Fairies? I could so “launch from fairy portals, all the most terrific thunders, in my armoury of wonders!” I’d like everyone to know for that, I got good reviews. Melanie Minty of the Surrey Now said:

Christina is Queen of the Fairies. She played Mad Margaret last year and it is always great to see her on stage. She loves performing and it shows.

And Alex Browne of the Peace Arch News said:

Christina contributed another excellent performance as Queen of the Fairies, singing well, but also winning plenty of laughs in suggesting the queen’s attraction to the mortal Private Willis, the sentry on guard outside the House of Lords

So there. Maybe I should have sung my presentation.

Sheesh. Everyone’s a critic.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Go see why my daughter (and my sister) rock

Okay, the message is in the title. If you know my daughter Emma, go to my sister’s blog and add to the ‘Why Emma Rocks’ list.

And may I just say, my sister rocks for making said list.

I know I’m too old to be saying someone rocks. I guess you’re just going to have to live with that pain.

Posted in Mothership, Sun | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Aspergers so far

Okay, so this is where we’re at so far…

1) I’ve submitted the PANTER form (this is the form the Autism clinic supplies), birth certificate and care card to the community living association. This is the organization through which our $500/month flows. They’ve approved her designation. We meet with them next week to sign the funding agreement and talk about how the money can be used.

2) We’ve informed the school and given them copies of the reports. This morning I submitted a form to change her designation in the school system to autism.

3) We visited the family doctor to get medications altered. We’re trying Concerta again to combat the spikes and lows of Ritalin, but as happened last time, it’s starting to affect her sleep. So, we may have to lower the dose or perhaps we just need to increase her physical activity level so she’s metabolizing it faster. Cost of one month supply of Concerta $120! Thank God we both have extended health plans.

4) The family doctor will refer us to a pediatrician. We are going to go to a different pediatrician than the one we saw 7 years ago, because, while I’m keen on alternative therapies, I am NOT interested in being told that her problems are being caused by constipation and too much TV.

5) We’ve been looking into Fast ForWord. Not much information to pass on, but at least we’ve raised our hand to say we want it. It’s now just a matter of figuring out timing and location. We are also going to have son #1 do the programme.

6) Made an appointment with her psychologist to discuss treatment options through his clinic.

7) We will open a chequing account this weekend into which the $500/month will go.

Once the money infrastructure is set up, we will delve deeper into exploring all the treatment options.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Gravity, Mothership | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lurking in Doorways

Come in, my child. We mustn’t lurk in doorways. It’s rude.” ~ Ursula, the Sea-Witch, The Little Mermaid

I’m a doorway lurker. There I’ve said it. Don’t judge me too harshly. I don’t do it to be rude. I do it because I never quite believe I’ve been invited in. And while I lurk in doorways waiting for that engraved invitation, others stride right in, mix themselves a cocktail and request a set of keys. All the while not even noticing that they trod upon my big toe and pushed my head into the door jamb when they waltzed in. I’m not blaming them for not seeing me, after all I’m the one who’s hiding.

And you know what? I’m tired of playing invisible. I’m tired of pretending I don’t know, don’t want, don’t care. I’m weary of feeling like I need to take a course, lose weight, or go through some extreme life makeover, to qualify for entry.

I’m done waiting. It’s time to crash the party. Maybe I’ll discover that I was invited all along.

In celebration of doorways and what lies on the other side, a website for you.

Posted in Big Bang | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Private Guilt vs. Public Judgment

Since this post, I’ve been really trying to sever my links between food and guilt. I’ve been listening to what my body wants to eat and giving it that no matter how much my nutrition indoctrination screams otherwise. And that’s interesting, because sometimes my body really does want a Big Mac and sometimes it really wants a yogurt/fruit smoothie. But this exercise has given me a secondary discovery. At some point in my life, I decided that private guilt was preferable to public judgment. So, while I have no trouble going through a drive thru and getting a burger, I think two and three times before letting myself be seen getting a chocolate bar from the vending machine. And I don’t think I’m imagining the judgment either.

How many of you have been to this lunch? You sit down at a restaurant with a group of people. The menus are opened and suddenly the celebratory ambience vanishes to be replaced by self-flagellation, true food confessions and food penance. But the self-hatred can’t stop there. Oh no. In classic passive-agressiveness it will be turned on you. Your lunch mates will suddenly become evangelizers and inquisitors for whatever flavour of food philosophy they currently subscribe to. Here’s how it goes:

What are you having? Well, I shouldn’t really eat too much because I did eat those 6 saltines this morning and I’m feeling SOOOO bloated. What are you going to have? You know I was thinking about the quesadilla but I wonder if they have a half serving? I mean, I have VISIBLY put on weight this week. I am a horse! Just braid my mane and put me in parade! Do you want to split a side order of the squid or are you still on your cleanse? I know, I worry about the mercury too, you’re right, maybe I’ll just have a bowl of the vegetable soup. I wonder if they use organic vegetables for the broth? You’re going to have the water? Mmmm, that sounds so good. I’ve only drunk a gallon today, I’m like totally parched. You’re having the penne? (Stunned silence) Really? Don’t you find you get sleepy after a carb overload like that? I would so like be in a coma if I ate all that! You should make sure they put some lean protein the sauce like tofu to balance it out. Do you think they use a multi-grain pasta?

Then when the food actually comes (all dressings and sauces on the side, nach!) it’s divided up to avoid over-consumption and after six mouthfuls have been consumed over a 45 minute period, it is declared to be causing yet more bloating, weight gain and general distress than they ever could have imagined possible.

It is said that the most controversial topics are sex, religion and politics. Well, I would like to add a new one to that list…Food. Food is not just food anymore. It’s a philosophy, at times a religion, complete with gurus of cult-like status, Dr. Frankensteins, evangelizers, inquisitors, manifestos, and sinners like me.

It’s hard enough to change myself, but then to discover that I’m fighting culture as well is a little daunting. All I can hope for is that changing my own mind will change the world.

And I have to grow a thicker skin.

Posted in Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Iolanthe

Christina Wells in full eyelash get-up

Here I am. The Fairy Queen from Gilbert and Sullivan’s Iolanthe. Check out those eyelashes! They are feathers if you can believe it. I love them a whole bunch more than I thought I would. I’m not sure what that says about me, although in my friend’s opinion it means that I will soon be going to Burning Man. Having never been, I’m not sure how to take that. I also have Vulcan-esque ears which you can’t see in this photo. My costume is a vision of crinkled organza that is some kind of hybrid between gypsy, Arabian Nights, court jester and princess. My wand is not some twinkie dollar store find, but a full-on Gandalf. I am quite literally in my glory. <sigh>

Yes, there are other people in the cast too. I know it’s not a one-woman show. Hey, it’s my blog. It can be all about me for a moment.

But really, you should come. We’re not half bad for community theatre. The show has really hit its stride. We close May 25, 2008 (and that show is sold out) so don’t wait!

Posted in Stardust, Sun | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Answers for searchers

I feel badly. I’ve let you down. I hate it when people complain but don’t do anything to remedy their complaint, and here I’ve gone and done the same thing. I wrote a whole post complaining about the amount of beeping in my life but provided no answers to mute that beeping. The consequence of that post is that a host of people searching for ways of reducing the beeping in their life are directed to my site with false hope. So, I am going to do the right thing and provide some answers for your poor beep inundated people. I want to do my part to reduce noise pollution and improve your noise to signal ratio. 

Here is my first solution for you:

How to turn off your incoming mail beep in Outlook.

Now, this is for the Office 2007 version of Outlook. But it’s actually very similar in previous versions of Outlook.

a) While in Outlook, click on the ‘Tools‘ menu.

b) Now click ‘Options.’

c) You’ll see a bunch of buttons that go down the right side of the window. Click on the top one, ‘Email options.’

d) Now about half ways down that window you’ll see a button called ‘ADVANCED email options.’

e) Now, you’ll see a section in that window called “When new items arrive in my inbox” De-click the checkbox that says “Play a sound.”

f) Press ‘Okay‘ and you should be golden. You might need to exit from Outlook and start it up again to ensure the changes are actually working.

Now listen to that blissful sound of silence. OHMMMM.

You can thank me in the comments. But, in advance, you’re welcome.

Posted in Minor notes in the celestial chord | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment