Star Trek Epiphany

Posted on May 12, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

Today is the still awkwardly-named Discussion of Trinity of Brain Issues (Learning Disabilities, ADHD and Aspergers) and the Treatment Thereof Tuesday. DTBITTT. I don’t know that my day should sound like a raspberry. Maybe for the time being we could shorten it to BIT Tuesday or Tuesday BITs (because it doesn’t bite like Monday – HA!)

I was all set to write an exciting and entertaining dissertation on social skills, but then I saw Star Trek on the weekend. Have you seen it yet? Ohmigod. So. Good! I’m not going to give any plot away but if you’re like my friend Phil who will not even discuss casting before he’s seen the movie, you might want to avert your eyes. Come back after you’ve seen it. We’ll just pause for a moment…

Okay, is everyone here that wants to be here?

Now, I’m sure you all know that this is a prequel (sort of) of the Star Trek series, and so we watch as the Enterprise crew slowly by coincidence, luck, happenstance, and the occasional push from a wise elder, gathers its crew together: Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Bones, Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu. These are the essentials I think. Am I missing anyone? And I had an epiphany…

As a parent of a special needs child, I need to have my own essential bridge crew.

And, I don’t mean, I just need to have a checklist to fill the positions of Captain and First Officer and the like. But, just like there was a special magic ingredient that made the Enterprise crew great, I need to be pay attention to what luck, coincidence, happenstance, and the occasional push from a wise elder, is placing in my path. Because I need my crew to have that same magic.

Kirk (The Captain): This is me. I have to be the one who believes we can re-write the programming to win the game, who doesn’t believe in no-win situations. I set the essential vision for exploring new worlds. To boldly go where no one has gone before. To expand our knowledge of the universe. Engage in diplomacy with unfriendly aliens while doing my best to adhere to the prime directive.

Spock (First Officer): This is the guy that keeps that tension going between the vision and the reality. The poetry and the logic. He grounds Kirk, protects him, does his best to see things through his eyes. Occasionally gives in to his human side. Super-powers: capable of the mind-meld and the Vulcan death grip. This is my husband.

Uhura: (Communications Officer) Sensitive to sub-space frequencies. Can detect a distress signal from many galaxies away. Alerts the crew to danger. Language specialist. This is our social skills teacher.

Bones: (Medical Officer) An important third to the Kirk, Spock dynamic. Conscience. Alernates between being the voice of reason and the voice of passion. Essential phrase: “Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a physicist!” Our pediatrician, family doctor and psychologist.

Scotty: (Engineer) Not only was Scotty the guy who would protest “The engines can’t take much more, Cap’n!” He was also the guy who discovered how to transport people in a warp field. He wrote the manual on the starship. The epitome of the person that can truly think outside of the box. Paradigm Shifter. These are the Michael Merzenichs, Norman Doidges, Barbara Arrowsmith-Youngs, and Richard Lavoies of the world. The guys and gals that are expanding our knowledge of the universe of the mind and the person. They are writing the manual.

Sulu: (Helmsman). Plots the course as directed by the Captain. Handles the ship with expertise. A person whose many talents reveal themselves over time. This is our Head Therapist.

Chekov: (Ensign) (in this movie anyway). That helper person enlisted to help in the mission. A believer in the mission. A growing expert in the tools at his command. Enthusiastic. Can be seen running through the hallways occasionally yelling “I can do that! I can do that!” Our home therapist. The School SEA.

The Enterprise: The child. The complex ship that is capable of going warp speed, exploring new worlds, and going boldly where no one has gone before. With a little help from a crew that believes in her and loves her.

Havi might have her pirate crew (more about Havi tomorrow, but suffice to say that I am currently in love with her). My bet is that Persephone might construct her team with Dr. Who in mind. But for myself, I have a Star Trek Bridge Crew.

What about you? What model are you going to use to construct your team? You’ll know it when something in you sings out “Yes!”

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Big Bang, celestial beings, Mothership, Observatory, Star Catalogue | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Lessons from my Mom

Posted on May 10, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

This is my Mom and me in the ‘Peg circa 1968.

 

Mom, me and the Muppet Coat

 

Did someone skin a Cookie Monster to get the pelt for that coat? I’m a muppetized moppet. I love that you can’t see my hands. Wasn’t I just adorable?

More to the point thought, look how beautiful my Mom is. Like a red-haired Jackie-O.

True story. I was showing my boyfriend (circa 1986) some family photos. Someone had snapped a shot of one of my siblings sitting on the floor opening a present. Behind the child were a pair of legs.

Nice gams! says soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend (Look! Hyper-hyphenation)

That’s my mom!

(awkward pause) Oh. Well. Still. Nice gams.

Mom didn’t see fit to award her first-born those nice gams. Damn the vagaries of the genetic lottery. At least I’m not bitter about it at all.

But stop, this isn’t about me, this is about my Mom. Wife of 1. Mother of 8. Sister to 2. Grandmother of 8. Librarian, business-owner, president of many a committee, leader, politician, suburban pioneer, knitter, taker-up of causes.

My mom.

Some of the things my Mom taught me, although some of them I still haven’t quite mastered. Frankly, I blame the student, not the teacher:

  • A house full of life is more important than a clean one
  • Act on your ideas
  • Be articulate
  • Have people over
  • Think for yourself
  • Substance is more important than flash
  • Good wine and good conversation in combination is one of the best pleasures in life
  • Make friends with people who don’t have any
  • Don’t waste brain space by remembering the plots of television shows and movies
  • Find the special deals
  • Own lots of books
  • Endurance is more important than speed
  • Introduce yourself
  • The Salvation Army and the clearance rack are awesome
  • Get involved
  • Notice the world around you: the flowers coming in bloom, the houses being built, the arrival of the swallows
  • Be kind
  • Dress well and never be seen outside your house without lipstick.
  • Be classy.
  • Why buy it if you can make it.
  • Stand up for what you believe to be right even if it means being the only one standing in a crowd. And even if that crowd is your crowd.
  • You don’t have to go with the flow
  • Read
  • Make stuff
  • Tell the people you love that you love them

And so, I know you know, Mom, but I love you.

Thanks for all this and all the other things that you just can’t put in a list. I’m incredibly blessed to have you for my mom.

 

Posted in celestial beings, Mothership, Star Catalogue, Stardust | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Bjournal Gardening

Posted on May 9, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

I’ve been feeling a bit lost on this whole bjournalling thing. Remember the stages of creativity I posted a while back? I’m at stage 15-16. Every day I seem to be discovering writers with better observations, more important life missions, wittier turns of phrases. And, you know what? she asked rhetorically. As that wise frog once observed, it’s not that easy being green. Living with an omni-present green-eyed monster behind your eyes is soul-sucking, and more importantly creatively debilitating. 

Then, in a kindness from the universe, I discovered The Alchemist by Paul Coelho and I realized–well, I realized a lot of things in that read, but one of the more important ones is that my jealousy only serves to diminish myself, and the happiness of the world. I feel embarrassed by the grandiosity of that statement. If I’m unhappy, is the whole world unhappy? But think about it, if someone can’t be great because it will make the people around them (me) feel bad, how does that serve the world? So, I’ve decided to set aside my envy and be happy to recognize someone else’s greatness. It will make the world, at least my world, a better place to live, and serves as a beacon for me to follow. Well, maybe a better analogy is that I know I can forge my own trail, because I know others have done it.

This bjournal has been like a new garden. I’ve been digging, fertilizing, planting, and in essence seeing what wants to grow here. And now, that I’ve been doing it for awhile, I feel it’s time to make a bit of a commitment–mostly for myself. I need to straighten the rows, thin the radishes a little, prop up the tomatoes, do a little weeding.

So, I’m establishing a schedule:

Tuesday: a post about that trinity of brain issues: learning disabilities, ADHD, and aspergers. I hope that those of you who are parenting kids with these labels will join this important conversation. We need to find the things that work and don’t work and the only way we can know that is by sharing our experiences. I know I’ve been a bit remiss in this area of late and it’s mostly because in order to reduce my stress about it, I had to just throw it all in that room where company cannot go and lock the door for a while. Time to unlock the door and do some de-cluttering.

Wednesday: a reviewing of things I’ve read, watched, and discovered and am generally way too excited about.

Friday: An observational, probably humourous (but no guarantees) post about life in general.

Occasionally, if the spirit moves, there may be an additional random post. We’ll just call that the pretty weed in the garden.

I have no witty names for these days yet. I will wait for inspiration to strike. However, you could help out by making some suggestions. Comments are welcome any day of the week.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Posted in Leaves, Little Bang, Star Catalogue | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

This post! Now Collectible!

Posted on May 7, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

My son brought home his School Supply Order Form yesterday. Never mind that he received it several days ago and only gave it to me the afternoon of the due date. Just never mind. I’m letting it go, and I think you should too.

Anyhoo…

This is the enticement offer. The extra little push to get us recalcitrant parents to sign over another hard-earned forty-five bucks not including taxes or the optional items:

Special Bonus: Every basic package will have 1 glue stick upgraded to an Ice Age 3 collectable Pritt stick.*

*Special Bonus is offered to orders received by the due date while supplies last.  

Wow. An upgrade!? To ONE Collectable Glue Stick!?!?! Sign me up. Right now. I can’t believe I’ve waited this long.

I’ll pause to give you time to shake your head.

I think perhaps the marketers have been doing a little glue sniffing of their own, all alone in their little marketing towers of pasty ivory. Because the day I get excited about getting upgraded to a collectable glue stick — even Ice Age 3 glue sticks made from 90% renewable resources — is the day…that I…well…it’s a pretty bad day.

Can you picture the creative meeting this entailed? M1 (Marketer 1) and M2 (Marketer 2) in the board room. M1 at the white board. M2 chewing the end of his pen.

M1 — What could we give our customers that costs us absolutely no money at all?

M2 — What about that barrel of promotional glue sticks sitting in the warehouse? We’re certainly not going to be able to sell those before they’ve composted inside the tube.

M1 — M2, you’re a marketing genius! People love glue! I know I do.

M2 — So, we’ll give a couple of free glue sticks to all orders?

M1 — No you fool! Only the orders that are in by the due date. And only if they’re actually ordering glue sticks. And only one. We’ll call it an upgrade!

Gone are the days when Mahoneymusings and I could fight over something truly collectable like the china figurines in the Red Rose Tea box.

Ahh, those were the days.

But a glue stick? I had no idea I wanted that. And now, having been made the offer, even couched in the best marketing terms that they could muster for the occasion, well…I still don’t want it.

So, that dear marketers is lesson number 1. It’s Mom that’s filling out the form and forking over the cash. You might talk a kid into wanting a collectible glue stick with all your fancy marketing talk, but not Mom. Why don’t you give Mom a reward? Perhaps a bottle of Ibuprofen? Maybe some vodka? Make it collectible if you must. I vote for the Sexy Daddy Series and slap images of Hugh Jackman and Brad Pitt on the bottle in a Collect Them All series.

Here’s a partial list of other things I don’t want to be collectible:

  • toothpaste containers
  • pantyhose wrappers, (ooh, extra special if they slap a suitable for framing image of North America’s Most wanted on the piece of cardboard in the middle of the package)
  • the rubber bands around the ends of the asparagus. Can also be worn as bracelets! Could be stamped with inspirational messages like “Go Green!” and “Stand tall”
  • Egg cartons. Display case sold separately.
  • Tongue scrapers
  • Sanitary napkins. We buy diapers with cartoon pictures on them for our kids don’t we? It’s a short walk to stamp some picture on a sanitary napkin and call them collectible.

And just in case you were wondering, here’s an article on the difference between collectable and collectible. Collectibles are items designed to be collected. Collectables are items that people collect because they deem them worth collecting. So, a collectible might be collectable, but, as it is in this case, the collectible is not worth being a collectable.

I may have used it wrong here, but in my defense, so did the school supply flyer.

Tell me about some lame promotional offers you’ve come across.

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Meteor Shower, Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory, Sun | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Anthropology of the School Concert

Posted on May 1, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

I attended the school’s variety show yesterday. I LOVE school concerts. I love the earnestness, the nervousness, the vulnerability. It makes me cry when the school band plays a song together. It’s an amazing accomplishment really to be playing a song on different instruments mostly together and pretty much at the same time. It’s easy to forget how hard that is.

Singing, dancing, and making music together is really humanity at its best; connected to each other, working together, finding our creative selves and creative others. It’s a beautiful thing.

Beyond that beauty though, I have to admit I also take a somewhat subversive joy in looking for the following types at the school concerts:

Beat-Behind Kid: This is the kid that does everything correctly, just a beat behind everybody else.

Sideways Looking kid: A sub-set of the Beat-Behind kid. This kid is never really sure they know what’s next and so is always keeps her neighbour in her peripheral vision to copy whatever that neighbour is doing. I may have a child in this category.

By-Halves Kid: If a full extension of the arm is required. This kid does a half extension. If a full step to the right is required, this kid does a half. Their faces tell a tortured tale of how they would rather eat their all-black shirt, no lettering, than have to be on that stage for one more second.

Doubling-Up Kid: In opposition to the By-Halves kid, this one DOUBLES all the choreography. An arm extension gets a jump for extra height. A step to the right is the equivalent of a long jump. If they’ve been instructed to smile, they will look hyterically insane. They may even add some choreography if they think the teacher hasn’t been thorough enough. It’s 50/50 whether you will get this kid off the stage. In the right circumstances, this kid can become the…

Dance-Step Cop: She (always a she) walks the dance line beat. She not only knows the number better than the teacher leading it, she is going to make sure that everyone within a ten foot radius is toeing the line and demonstrating an appropriate level of decorum. She, for reasons better left undiscussed, is my personal favourite.

Holy-Cow These Lights are Bright Kid: When the curtain opens and the lights hit this kid, he stands in shocked silence, his eyes the proverbial saucers. Some will hold their hands in front of their eyes. The danger of this kid is that he starts to believe since he can’t see anyone, no one can see him. My son falls into this category.

Is my Mom Out There?: Sticks head through curtain to check for loved ones. Abandons the number to give a shout-out to parents, grand-parents, baby brother, neighbour down the road. Gives some red-carpet poses for Dad’s camera while supposed to be heading for the song’s big finish.

The I’m Itchy Kid: Between moves this kid has to scratch his nose or scalp repeatedly with gusto, may even check his fingernails for whatever he found, then feels uncomfortable in his wool dress pants and has to do some adjusting. This kid is blissfully unaware that his antics will humiliate him for many years to come at Thanksgiving Day family dinner.

The Hockey Team — I love the grade one class presentation because none of them have any front teeth. They look like a dress photo for a miniature hockey team. Go Canucks!

And the bane of the teacher’s existence…Never Paid Attention at Any Rehearsals Kid. This one looks perpetually surprised that he has found himself on the stage. Who are these people? What am I doing here? What is this song? Why am I wearing a funny hat?

The parents of course fall into one category, the I’ll Have to Look at the Video Recording to See if I Enjoyed the Concert Parent. Gosh, we spend so much time recording our experiences that I’m not sure we let ourselves have the experience anymore.

I however didn’t even bring the camera. I applauded and clapped along. Giggled at the cuteness of the kindergarteners and generally embarassed my offspring with my beaming. I guess that makes me The Embarassing Parent. A role that goes beyond the school concert I fear.

So, tell me if I’ve missed any types. Do you love or loathe the school concert?

Posted in Aliens and uncharted planets, Mothership, Observatory, Star Catalogue, Stardust, Sun | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Stupidity Fatigue

Posted on April 28, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

If it isn’t safe to text while driving, I assume it must also be true that it is not safe to text while directing traffic through a construction zone. I’m right about that aren’t I?

And to you, Miss Texting Flagperson: You know, that SLOW sign you’re using to “disguise” your texting self? It’s not flagging traffic at all, it’s flagging your level of intelligence. Thank God we’ve been warned.

But maybe I’m just a safety fanatic.

What do you think?

You know, I’m reaching the point, where no stupid behaviour shocks or even surprises me anymore. I’m getting stupidity fatigue.

Posted in Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

This just in — Proofreading is Impotant

Posted on April 27, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

So, I found myself at a temporary page in the Minsitry of Education’s website.

Did you catch that typo?

Let me emphasize…the Ministry of Education‘s website.

<sigh>Boggles the mind really.

Although I can’t say I’m truly surprised, considering some of the notices I’ve received from the school. Just in recent memory, one referenced a completely different school than the one my offspring were attending; and in another one the notice ended with <Insert Name of child here>, just to give me that personalized touch. They might teach a lot of things at school, but proofreading apparently is not one of them. Or it’s taught but never practiced, thus proving that the things they teach you in school you never use in real life — even when you should.

It put me in mind of the best typo I ever encountered.

First, let me say right off, I am not holding myself up as a Grammar Queen, even though I have been accused of having Random Correction Syndrome (RCS, it’s a sickness) and have once or maybe twice told people that ‘orientated’ is not a word. But I also am someone who recently spelled ‘water’ as ‘walter’ on a trade show brochure, so I grudgingly recognize I am not impervious to the occasional typo gaffe.

That doesn’t make the story any less funny.

So, many years ago I was starting a new job, taking over from another human resources professional. This HRP had recently done a SWOT analysis of The Company, although she thought it was spelled SWAT. So, rather than looking at the company’s Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats, had substituted “Assets’ for ‘Opportunties.’ I’m not sure why no one corrected this HRP, but it just goes to show that often no one actually pays attention to the important work of strategically managing a company. That may be a clue as to why it usually fails to improve things.

So, this HRP in a classic HR move determined that the most important assets of The Company were Its People. She sent out a document attached to an email saying just that.

Except she left the ‘T’ out of ‘Assets”

That’s right.

“The Company’s best asses are its people.”

Proofreading: FAIL

These are the times when spell-check can’t help you.

Any horrifying typos you’ve made or encountered? Feel free to post anonymously. Or correct my grammer. Let your RCS run free.

Posted in Minor notes in the celestial chord, Observatory, Sun | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Wrench-throwin’ Season

Posted on April 23, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

Every year I believe that my yearly brochure will come together easily and quickly.

I believe I will have illustrations at my fingertips, sparkling show copy will virtually write itself, I will know what logos need to be included and the names of everyone who needs to be credited.

I am an idiot.

Because the way of the brochure is never straight.

Oh no. It is a minefield full of disputes discussions over ‘hilarious’ vs ‘laugh-out-loud,’ EM-dashes vs EN-Dashes, and white space vs. Johnson boxes. Just for some purely hypothetical examples that I just made up.

It’s no one’s fault really. Except mine. For believing that this year will be different.

Because I should know by now, there will always a wrench thrown into the works. Often a multitude of wrenches. It’s just a matter of time.

But I’m up for the challenge, now that I’ve changed my philosophical mind-set. I’m changing my job title temporarily to Brochure Wrangler

Bring it on brochure. Bring it on.

That poor little brochure. There’s a lot of $$$ resting on its single-fold spine. I hope it can take the pressure.

Posted in Little Bang, Minor notes in the celestial chord | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Laughter may be the best medicine

Posted on April 18, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

Take a look at this.

Although it’s not a large number of people involved in this study, I think these findings are really eye-opening. Laughter was more effective than medication in reducing cholesterol levels. By a lot. 26% compared to 3% improvement?! Wow.

And what a pleasant discovery to find that I’m not following a multitude of humourous blogs to procrastinate on doing unpleasant things like my taxes. I’m doing it for my health.

If you want to lower your cholesterol levels see my sidebar. Lots of medicine right there. Here too. At least most days.

 

PS: Don’t get your medical advice from strangers on the internet. You may not actually find anything I write funny enough to lower your cholesterol.
Posted in Big Bang, Sun | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Benjamin Zander on TED

Posted on April 16, 2009 by Tentative Equinox North

I am very excited today, because WordPress will now let us embed TED talks into posts. Let the trumpets sound, or at least some inspirational, insightful and entertaining lectures.

Benjamin Zander is the co-author of The Art of Possibility, one of my favourite books. It is one of those most rare of self-help books in that it can actually change your life.

Here is his talk on TED, which also briefly outlines several of his life philosophies. Enjoy!

 

Posted in Big Bang, Observatory, Stardust | Tagged , , | Leave a comment